Life Serial 1: Coventry
by Shade Embry
Summary: *Completed!* 24/Alias/The Agency/Ultraviolet. Two college friends who don't know they both work for the Agency are about to find out.
1. Getting The Call

Coventry 

Brittany "Thespis" Frederick

**Summary:** When two college students become two CIA spies, what's more dangerous – the line being crossed, the people crossing it, or the fact that neither is that easy to figure out?

**Genre: **Action/Humor/a tad of Drama

**Rating:** PG for a little language

**Dedication:** To Tisha. Heh. You knew I would.

**Author's Note:** This is a mega-crossover, done entirely for the fun of myself and my best friend. It's going to involve most hugely _24_ and _Alias_, but also a little of _The Agency, Ultraviolet_ and God knows what else. All that stuff doesn't belong to us, but obviously the characters of us belong to us … the sense, however, will probably go out the window. And if any of the IRL people in this should read it, it's all in fun, I swear. ;)

          "Is it over yet?" I said, covering my eyes with my hand and groaning not too audibly, as the target of my discomfort was right in front of me. Finally I moved my hand just slightly so I could look at my best friend sitting next to me with that same 'please shoot me right here, right now' look on her face. 

          Leticia covertly checked her cell phone. "I think so. It's like 2:10."

          "Thank God," I muttered carefully under my breath.

          At the front of the classroom Professor Berghof, our humanities instructor, was continuing to discuss the court of Louis XIV, which he preferred to dissect through movies involving Nigel Hawthorne (I didn't complain) and Gerard Depardieu (I did complain). The ninety-six words he'd written covering both sides of the white board were still all over it in no order whatsoever, and the "German guy," as we called him because, well, that's what he was, finally wrapped up his lecture with one more monotone sentence: "Remember to read Fiero chapter 20 and I will see you Tuesday."

          The sound of everybody getting up and bolting for the door – he may as well have said 'free bars of gold in the quad' – was near deafening. The two of us collected our binders and textbooks, quickly shoved them into our backpacks, and exited as quickly as we could from our first-row seats out the door and into the University Hall first-floor walkabout area of Cal State San Marcos. As we did usually, we paused because we had fifteen minutes to make next class and really very little to do until then.

          "So, I'll see you after class?" I said needlessly. She _was_ my ride home.

          "Yeah."

          "Have fun." I rolled my eyes. "I'm off to visit… well, you know."

          "Yeah. See you later."

          She turned and walked one way and I went the other. We had different last classes and mine was upstairs with a very intimidating speech instructor named Professor Erbe who actually didn't want to flog me for being horrible, which surprised me to death. I was still scared of him though a lot of the fear had worn off with the more classes I went to. I crossed the walkabout, punched the button for the elevator, and it popped right open. I hit the button for the second floor and waited until the doors opened again. Just as I headed down the corridor to class, my cell phone rang. Damn theme from _The X-Files_.

          "Go ahead. And quickly, I have … eight minutes."

          "We need you for a meeting later."

          "Define 'later' Tony."

          "Six. It'll only be an hour."

          "Do you know where I am? To get from here to L.A. will be…"

          "… We'll send someone for you. Listen, it's because of the whole changes thing."

          "I don't think you know what you're asking."

          "Please don't make me beg."

          I waited just long enough to make him squirm even though I really had nothing on him.

          "Right. Six. You'll pick me up in the usual place?"

          "Yeah, down the street."

          "Fine." I sighed, opening the door to my classroom. "Don't call me again unless you want my head in a salad bowl." And before he could say anything else I clicked off my phone and slid into my seat next to my friend Eric. I was much more afraid of Professor Erbe than I was of missing another phone call. That man is intimidating, let me say. I only hoped Leticia was having an easier time in her math class than I was here.

          At that same moment, her cell phone beeped twice. Text message.

          She grabbed it from her purse – thankfully no one had heard it go off – and read the screen.

          Immediately thereafter she almost stabbed herself in the hand with her pencil.

          Maybe not.

          Class came and went. Professor Erbe had been pretty okay this day. Just two videos, thankfully a minimum on the scary stuff. I said goodbye to Eric and slipped out the front door of University Hall into the Palm Court where Leticia and I always met at the end of each day to make the walk back to her car and the drive back home. As I walked over to her I arched an eyebrow.

          "Things go okay?"

          "Yeah."

          "You look a little distracted."

          "The homework set this week is huge."

          "Okay."

          "How was your teacher?"

          "Thankfully not out for blood." I shrugged as we began to walk. "You never know until you try, right? Let's go. My group just decided it's meeting at six and I've got to catch a ride up."

          "Your group? The juvenile delinquents?" She echoed my terminology for my speech group.

          I nodded. "They're more diligent than you think."

          After she drove me home I dropped off my school belongings at my house and told my mom that Leticia and I were going to see a movie and hang out at the mall and we would be home late. I took my house key just in case and made sure that my friend's car had disappeared round the corner before I walked down the street as if I were going to the mailbox, then covertly turned the corner and almost walked right into the dark sedan.

          "Want to park that any closer?" I quipped, stowing my key.

          Tony slipped his sunglasses into his jacket pocket. "Don't complain."

          "I'm not," I said as I got into his car. "You don't normally do this for me."

          "You know Jack would kill someone if something happened to you. He wants the best."

          "And you're the best," I said, because in truth after all that had happened he was.

          Tony just shrugged, taken by the compliment, and pulled away from my little suburban street. We were on our way to Los Angeles where the group was meeting.

          "So what is this all about?" I asked him as the car exited my development. "What's going on? Why now?"

          "Don't ask me," he said. "The new girl, Michelle, it's all her idea. Double- and triple-check everything." He put special emphasis and special sarcasm on the last word.

          "And Jack's bought into it?"

          Tony nodded. "Can't really blame him, can you?"

          "No," I admitted, turning on the car radio and tuning it to the Wave 94.7 smooth jazz station which always calmed my nerves before a big night. "But I can't just keep disappearing like this. It doesn't work for me."

          "You work for CTU," Tony said, looking back at me. "You disappear whenever you need to."

Central Intelligence Agency Los Angeles 

          "You're sure I can't get you anything?" the veteran agent said as he walked his charge into the conference room and closed the door behind the both of them. Eric Weiss was certain it was going to be one of 'those' days and frankly, he could do without it, but he just did his job anyway.

          The female agent took a seat at the deserted table, managing to stay reasonably cool in the process. "You've asked me that five times, Weiss. No, I'm fine, I swear."

          "Just checking," the older agent put up his hands in surrender as he took a seat two chairs down from her.

          She favored him with a smile. "Where's Vaughn?"

          "On his way. This is big. It's taking a while," he admitted uneasily, not wanting to get her scared. A scared operations officer was a nervous one, and they screwed up, and that was of course the last thing you wanted at the CIA, not in a world like this. He could hear the rants from upstairs now.

          "How big?" she said, freezing in her tracks. Too late. She was scared. Doing a good job of not showing it too much but Weiss was well-trained and could pick it out instantly. "Like Sydney big?"

          "I don't know."

          "Well, how would we know?" Leticia asked him, getting a little uncomfortable and having ideas about exploding red water balls and viruses and dead people in bathtubs again.

          The CIA handler looked a little edgy himself. "You're supposed to find out for us."

Counter Terrorist Unit Los Angeles 

            The man at the head of the conference table was Special Agent Jack Bauer. He was my boss and the boss of everyone else in the room and he gave the best briefings this side of D.C. I sat on Jack's left side, two seats down between Agent Tony Almeida, acting deputy to Jack, and Agent Lex Richards, our new computer specialist following the murder of Jamey Farrell by Nina Myers. Also in the room were District Director George Mason, whom nobody liked, new security chief Agent Michelle Dessler, that I didn't like, and a few others I knew vaguely. We all looked to Jack as he cleared his throat and started talking.

          "What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave this room." 

          Not a good sign.

          "What happened this morning at District is something we've probably all imagined doing for ourselves. Everyone here, everyone at CTU, probably has motive and opportunity for the crime. But it's our job to close it and therefore I trust you to keep quiet and conduct what's going to be a bloody internal investigation."

          "Just tell them what happened, Jack." This from Mason. I kept making excuses for him in my head.

          Jack shot a glare in Mason's direction, then continued.

          "Ryan Chappelle was murdered. His body was found in his office this morning."

          Everybody kind of looked at each other with various expressions somewhere between love and hate. Ryan Chappelle was Mason's boss, making him Jack's boss's boss, and Jack was right, we all hated him. At least everyone at CTU L.A. wanted him gone or worse. His death could blow CTU apart and anyone could have done it. Before we could start dropping names Jack cut us all off.

          "George will coordinate us with District. Tony will be running the floor with me. Michelle, get security up to wherever it is you want it by the end of tomorrow, today preferably. Lex, start running anything you can get before Alberta Green can close our back channels down. Brittany will join you on that shortly." 

          He fixed us all with one last glance as if to will us not to screw this up, then dismissed us. Lex put his hand on my shoulder as he stood and the two of us said a few words to each other. Since he had come over from Langley, Lex and I had been working together and I told him I'd meet him at our workstations in a second. Jack was gathering his paperwork and when everyone had gone I walked over to the man that had recruited me into CTU.

          "What do you want me on, Jack?"

          Jack blinked. "You're running data with Lex. Let me know what you get."

          "You said I'd join him shortly. That means I've got another docket. What's up?"

          My SAC checked to make sure the door was closed and everyone was gone, then stopped entirely and turned to me. "This is only between you and me."

          I tensed. "All right."

          "Two rumors are going around, unconfirmed. One is that this may involve as far as England. In that case, we have sources set up." He handed me a file folder. "That goes in your locker and leave it there until you're getting on the plane."

          "What's the second?"

          The last words I ever wanted to hear were the next ones he said.

          "The second is that it may involve Nina Myers."


	2. In The Big Room

Central Intelligence Agency 

**Los Angeles**

          "Wait, wait, wait, you want me to do _what_?" The words came from her in a breathless rush and Weiss and Vaughn exchanged glances. Vaughn decided to speak slower this time. Maybe that would do it.

          "We need you to run a recon. Some very important data was stolen – the key files for the Department of Defense. We need to know who might have it and we can't let DOD on to the fact that it's missing, but it's only a matter of time. You need to check out some sources and track this data down."

          "I don't have that kind of training."

          "Yes, you do. You don't need to understand the data, just get us a paper trail." He passed a mission folder down the table to her. "That will get you started. If I were you, I'd start with the CIA archives … it will take a while for somebody upstairs to pull anything and we don't have that kind of time."

          Leticia blinked back at him. "You owe me, Agent Vaughn."

          "Don't I know it," he muttered under his breath.

**Counter Terrorist Unit**

Los Angeles 

          I hung up the phone on my desk and swiveled needlessly in my chair. Next to me, Lex stopped typing and looked at me with that 'I will never quite understand you, but boy would I love to' look on his face. "Breaking a date?" he quipped. I rolled my eyes. "Explaining to my parents that I got called in to work and I'll be away for a while. Thankfully, they don't ask questions."

          He nodded, taking another long drink from his coffee cup. "How does somebody who's not even an adult yet work for CTU?"

          "I don't know. How old were you when you started at Langley?" I shrugged. "I met his wife once at a summer school lecture. Next thing I know, he's offering me a civilian commission. And I always did want to save the world."

          Lex chuckled. "Don't think we're quite there yet."

          "I don't know that either," I said, pulling up another docket on my computer. I didn't want to check what Jack had told me on a CTU computer. Like him, I trusted most everyone here, but I didn't want to raise suspicion. There was a reason he had told me and only me, and I doubted that it was because I was the agent closest to his departed spouse.

          "Anybody clear his office yet?" I asked Lex randomly.

          He shook his head. "I assume they're waiting for us."

          "Well, I don't know any better place to start," I said, standing and starting to walk away. When I realized he wasn't following, I turned and stood there staring at the back of his head.

          Eventually Lex looked back at me. "What?"

          "Come on, Lex. It's not that late."

          "Oh. Right," he said, grabbing his car keys from his jacket pocket. "Let's go."

CIA Los Angeles Archives 

The desk agent reminded Leticia of our former high school librarians. Old, difficult, and it was like they almost loved needling you to the point of oblivion. She set her warrant card down on the desk. "What more proof do you want? It's right there," she said, trying to hide the exasperation in her voice.

          "Sweetheart, I don't know what division secretarial pool you're in, but you don't get the secret code," the desk agent replied evenly.

          "It says right there on my badge. Operations. Agent clearance."

          "You're barely out of high school, I don't think so."

          "Are you _blind_?" She sighed. "Listen, give me the phone. I'll call Agent Vaughn upstairs and prove it to you."

          "This involves Vaughn?" Now the desk agent froze. "What trouble is he in now?"

          Finally, an opening. "He sent me on a research errand. Can I get into the room now, please?"

          The gate buzzed and she tried it; it gave way, and she stepped inside the massive archive room with a sigh. There were days when she preferred being an active agent rather than dealing with paper-pushers. She chose to ignore the odd look the desk agent was still shooting in her direction and realized she would be here for a very long time.

Former Office of Ryan Chappelle 

**CTU District Office**

Los Angeles 

          Lex unlocked the door with his master key and held it open for me as I stepped inside. "The birthplace of Satan," I deadpanned as he closed the door behind the both of us. This place freaked me out. I had walked by it on times when Mason had asked me to come to District and help him out, but I had never wanted to see behind this door.

          You don't always get what you want.

          Chappelle's office still looked like a crime scene. The body had been moved, of course, but everything else remained untouched. Having learned from a lot of reading on forensic science and a good many episodes of _CSI_, I reached into my jacket pocket and snapped on a pair of latex gloves. I tossed my spare set to Lex, assuming rightly that he hadn't brought any.

          "Be very careful," I said needlessly. One of my other duties was evidence processing. I didn't want to be the one screwing up my own job.

          "Where do you want to start?" he said, still creeped out.

          I blinked. "Where do you want to start?"

          "Obviously we're taking his computer?"

          "Yeah."

          Lex carefully walked over to the desk and reached down to unplug the computer, then hesitated. He decided to turn it on instead and check it out first. Following his logic, I walked over so I could look over his shoulder. Chappelle's computer was airtight, but Lex is an expert hacker and it was no problem for him to walk right in.

          "Check his history files," I suggested.

          We did.

          I scanned the data looking for anything interesting. Most of it was District or within the CTU system. A few were CIA, obviously. I had a feeling that Chappelle was never happy working for a small but growing subset of the Agency and he would have preferred working for the main Agency.

          "I don't know what any of this means," I said, leaving the door open for Lex.

          But the Langley vet didn't know either. "Can't help you there."

          I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Wait … the Agency's got its research facility maybe ten minutes from here, right?"

          "I think so." He shut down the computer and unplugged it. "You want to head there?"

          "Yeah. Remember the names."

          "Just wrote them down," he said, pointing out the steno pad in his shirt pocket. "You want to do this now or later then?"

          He grabbed the computer and started for the door without me having to tell him. I looked around at the blood on the walls and the fact that I was going to need dinner soon.

          "Later. Definitely later."

          With this in mind we started driving again.

          "We won't be too long, will we?" I said as we pulled into the Agency facility parking lot.

          He checked his watch. "Should be back before the dinner break."

          I nodded, sated with that fact, and ducked inside. Obviously it took me about twice as long to pass the security scan as it did for Lex to get through. One of the hang-ups of being a younger agent. That and the smirk on his face as he watched them wave that little wand over me repeatedly.

          "Don't," I quipped as I finally got through. "Find me the archives."

          "If I can read a map of Langley, I can find anywhere," he proclaimed triumphantly.

          I started the stopwatch function on my watch.

          "It only took you sixteen and a half minutes," I deadpanned.

          "So sue me. I'm getting used to working on this coast."

          We walked up to the agent working at the desk and flashed Agency identification. The desk agent kept giving me the evil eye. Finally I just couldn't take it anymore.

          "What?" I said as she was running our ID through the computer. Lex was half-smirking at me again.

          "So what are you? A secretary or a runner?" she said without looking back at me.

          My eyes narrowed.

          "You may not want to say that," Lex deadpanned needlessly. Too late.

          "For your information, ma'am, I am the Assistant Technology Operations Officer, Civilian Commission, Counter Terrorist Unit, Los Angeles, Central Intelligence Agency, Southwest Section. My supervisor is Special Agent Jack Bauer and I don't think that needs any explanation. I have a job to do, and I'd like to protect my country if that's all right with you."

          She just blinked and pushed a little button. Lex and I walked in, staring at the sheer size of the place.

          "You want to take one end and I'll take the other and meet you in the … middle?" he suggested.

          I shrugged. "Sure. You might want to phone Tony. And phone for take-out," I suggested. "Keep your phone on. I don't want to be running around in here looking for you, no matter how distinctive you are."

          He smirked. "Chinese good for you?" he said.

          I nodded. "Good luck," I replied, and headed off with half his list of file names. 

          I vaguely assumed these were alphabetical, at least I hoped they were. Lex's list was, so I started with 'Archer triple-zero-seventeen-four' and headed to the back wall. I love libraries and big rooms full of cool stuff, but this was ridiculous. They could've at least had a 'you are here' map. It took me another ten minutes just to find the file and I grabbed it and walked back to a table. I figured I'd get them all and look at them rather than the long way round, so I set it down and looked at the dark-haired agent at the table.

          "Mind if I leave this with you? I'll just be a sec … or an eon."

          "Yeah, no kidding," she said, chuckling as we made eye contact.

          My heart literally stopped as I stared back at Leticia and she stared back at me. In a room that size our mutual next sentence must have echoed off the walls and Lex probably heard it. Things were about to get crazy.

          _"You work for the CIA?!"_


	3. Making The Target

CIA Los Angeles Archives 

          "You go first."

          "Um… no."

          "All right, fine."

          "Fine."

          "Okay." I sighed, resting my hands on my hips in the way I used to do every time I'd be stuck standing around doing nothing during another exceptionally long security briefing. "I work for the Counter Terrorist Unit. It's a sub-section of the CIA. I'm a civilian technology and research specialist, an advisor to the agent in charge." Beat. "Your turn."

          "I … I'm an entry-level operations recruit for the Agency. Basically, I just do little errand runs, look for information."

          "Right. How long?"

          "Um … since about senior year of high school."

          "I'm a year ahead of you then."

          "They recruited you the same year we were in class together?"

          I nodded. "Not the point though. I … I have some work to do, and…"

          "I heard screaming," Lex piped up helpfully as he walked over and laid more files on the table in front of me. I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't screaming," I deadpanned. My co-worker looked at the both of us, then asked me what was going on. I tried to be as expedient and simple as I possibly could. "Um, Lex, this is Leticia, a friend of mine. Apparently we both work for the CIA. Leticia, this is Agent Lex Richards, we work together."

          Introductions came and went. While they were talking I slipped away back to the stacks and rubbed my eyes with my palms. This was a little crazy. I could understand why I didn't know, given that CTU was relatively small compared to the rest of the Agency, but not knowing was still kind of irritating. Thankfully for me, before I could go really crazy, my cell phone buzzed.

          "Go ahead."

          "Brittany, it's Jack."

          "What…"

          "Grab whatever you've got and get back here. Change of plans."

          "What?"

          "Remember that file in your locker? Chances are you're going to need it." Jack exhaled. "Listen, I trust you. You'll be fine. Just get here."

          "Right." I clapped my phone shut, grabbed the final files, and went running down the aisle. Stopping to make the turn, I came up a little fast and banged my forehead on the bookcase. I swore and kept going over to where Leticia and Lex were still having a conversation and snapped my fingers.

          Lex walked over to me. "You snapped your fingers."

          "Yes."

          "Why?"

          "To get you to come to me quickly." I sighed. "Jack wants us back now. Get the files and let's go."

          He nodded. "What about your friend?"

          I looked over with him. "What can I do?"

          Lex just sighed. "Listen, I'll take this stuff out to the car."

          Reading what he didn't say, I nodded and waited until he grabbed the box of files and walked out of the archives. Taking several deep breaths, I wandered back over to the table.

          "I need to go."

          "Okay."

          "I guess they're sending me to London."

          Now she smirked. "You always wanted to go back."

          "I know."

          "You wouldn't shut up about…"

          "I know." I couldn't hold back a smirk. "Listen, I'll see you in class … or God knows where."

          "Yeah."

          "Stay safe," I told her before getting up and walking away. I did have a job to do. 

Counter Terrorist Unit Los Angeles 

          Jack Bauer was having another one of 'those' days. I mean, obviously not as bad as the last one, but you could totally tell in his eyes that he was starting to get irritated. I would if I were him. I mean, come on, after all that man has been through … but he's like Superman. You just can't keep him down.

          I spotted him on the floor immediately and the two of us began striding over to meet each other. I told Lex to make sure my identification package, under my given alias of Siobhan Natalie Lawrence, was still up to date and ready to go, then took a deep breath and hoped Jack wasn't going to tell me that I got to tango with Nina Myers. I'd known her when she was still one of us, and I was no match for her.

          "Spill."

          "You're going to England after all." He cut me off from any further comment. "No, she's not there. But according to Alberta Green, Ryan was getting ready to do some business with the U.K.'s Counterterrorism Center. She knows only part of it was in the clear, so it needs to be checked out. In person. Very carefully. If this is what got him killed, and it involves Nina…"

          "Trouble." I nodded. "Tell me you're sending me with a field team, Jack…" I hated saying this, but I did anyway. "I'm only seventeen, for Christ's sake."

          "I know. And yes. Put a team together. Take a field op and take Lex with you. The three of you are on the next flight to London." He handed me the tickets, and I started toward my locker, then turned around.

          "Jack?"

          "Yeah."

          "What about other Agency operatives?"

          "What do you mean?"

          "Pulling people from the main Agency. How big can my team be?"

          "I don't want any more than five people. You'll get noticed. You're supposed to be a PV review agent, not a caravan." He blinked at me. "Why? Did you have someone in mind?"

          "I know someone who's good at recon. Her name is Leticia Gallegos, she works for the main Agency, but she'll need a handler, that's why I asked. Phone up and see if she's available, but I think she is."

          "I'll do that." He nodded. "How do you know her?"

          "We go to college together," I explained as I walked off, leaving him to stare after me.

Central Intelligence Agency Los Angeles 

          Leticia was trying really hard to glare at Vaughn and Weiss but she wasn't really good at it. I mean, how do you really glare at CIA agents and actually intimidate them? "You should have told me she works for us!"

          "We didn't know!" Vaughn protested. "CTU basically operates on its own, we've only heard of it."

          "Still … she's my friend!"

          "We know that, and we're sorry." He sighed. "Now, the key files?"

          "I've got basic background on them, not much more. Like you said, they're DOD, not CIA." 

          The phone on the table rang and Vaughn picked it up. "Agent Vaughn. Yeah, she's here. What? When? Who? Right." Just like that, he hung up, and he just stood there for a moment.

          "What?" Weiss said.

          "That was Jack Bauer, head of CTU. Apparently Leticia's _friend_," he said this looking at her, "is on her way to London on an assignment, needs a recon specialist, and requested her." He paused. "They're leaving to get ready in ten minutes and they want us to release her."

          "What about the key files?"

          "That's what I said. Those are priority."

          "I can't do much more with them anyway," Leticia protested. "I did what I could do. If she needs me, why would you leave me here with paperwork?"

          Vaughn and Weiss considered this.

          Finally, Vaughn spoke. "Looks like you're going to London."

          "All right." She cracked a smile.

          "Is that safe?" Weiss interjected.

          Vaughn nodded. "Yeah, because so are you."

Counter Terrorist Unit Los Angeles 

          I threw my travel bag into the trunk with all the other luggage. Each member of my team was carrying one bag, and that made the trunk almost full. With that done I opened the passenger side rear door. If I'd had it my way I would've taken Jack, but for obvious reasons you can't do that, so Tony was buckling his seat belt. "Anything else?" I said. I knew I was not experienced, so he was the unofficial field leader and I was always asking him questions.

          He shook his head. "Not unless you can see the future."

          "Right." I sounded unconvinced. "Lex?"

          "Good to go," my semi-sort of partner replied from the driver's seat. "Just waiting on them."

          "Uh-huh." I watched the parking lot until I spotted the familiar red Neon. "Wait, here they come."

          I moved around the car as she pulled into a space, ready to accept my friend and my new mission at the same time.

*Of all the things I've believed in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears form behind my eyes  
But I do not cry  
Counting the days that pass me by*

She stepped out of her car and locked it. With her was a man who I presumed was her handler. I didn't recognize him, and I realized I hadn't bothered to look up her record and see who was administering her. 

We didn't say much. There wasn't really time.

I just took their luggage from them and walked with her to the car, where I held open the back seat for the both of them. 

I didn't even bother with introductions, lost in my 'show mode.' This was for real. And it was kind of creepy. You think all those spy shows are over the top, and they are, but still, here I was on my first mission, if you could call it that.

*I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
It feels like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend  
And I said*

          I put everybody's luggage in the trunk, closed it, circled round and climbed in. Lex knowingly started the car as soon as I shut the door, leaving me to buckle my seat belt.

          Ironically, Leticia's words rang in my ears:

          "Well, you did always want to go back."

*Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I loved  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to*

          "Oh, God, it's going to rain, isn't it?" I blurted.

          Tony nodded. "You know it does that in London."

          I rolled my eyes. "Great. All this and now I'm going to be cold…"

          "Are you complaining?"

          "I don't know. Any chance we can see Jack Davenport?"

          Leticia and I shared a little smile.


	4. Inferno

In The Air, Heading For London 

          I checked my paperwork again. Jack had given us all aliases; the U.K. guys wouldn't break a sweat, but Nina did know who we were and if we ran into her, at least Lex and I could save ourselves. Tony was the only one she'd probably remember, me if I were terribly unlucky. For this mission, as I did on my training runs, I was traveling as Lex's sister – being somebody's sibling seemed to be a palatable excuse for being my age and doing the things I was doing. I also had the folder in my overhead bag, which I was to open as soon as I received verbal confirmation from Jack, which would be as soon as I phoned him from Heathrow Airport to tell him we weren't all dead.

          As I always seemed to, I had the window seat, with Leticia next to me. Her handler, whose name I had by then learned, insisted on sitting with her. I marked him right then as a guy who definitely did his job that I could depend on. Tony was directly behind me with Lex next to him, and I actually missed having Lex next to me to talk to. We did a lot of that at work, because we were the two who flew under the radar. Some others were not so lucky.

          I turned in my seat and looked at Tony. "I don't want to screw this up."

          "I know," he said. "That's why Jack sent us. We know you can't do this alone."

          "Nobody gets there alone," I repeated the mantra, and he nodded. "Damn straight," he said, not having to add the 'especially after the whole Palmer-Drazen scandal and my girlfriend being a Serbian mole bitch' line. 

          I flicked my gaze to my 'brother' but couldn't come up with a smile. "How do things look?"

          "I think we're good, but I won't really know till we're on the ground." He looked back at me. "You should try to relax, get some sleep. We all should."

          "Right," I said, flouncing back into my seat. "I can't sleep on airplanes."

          Leticia looked over at me. "Because you hate them or because you're nervous?"

          "Both."

          "At least you're having a little fun."

          "I wouldn't call this that much fun."

          "You like it here."

          "I didn't the first time," I pointed out.

          "Your dream date is Steve from _Coupling_," she reminded me. By this time Weiss had taken an interest in the conversation. I arched an eyebrow. "So what? That's not about this."

          "You brought the DVD!"

          "Not like I'm going to watch it," I scoffed.

          She rolled her eyes appropriately. She knew come morning I'd be watching Jack Davenport and staring off into my own English paradise. Th motive might be different this time though.

          "Excuse me," Weiss interjected, "but what the hell are you two talking about?"

          "Stalking…"

          I cut my friend off. "Um, nothing important, Agent Weiss, sir."

          He hesitated, and probably knew I was lying. "Call me Weiss," he insisted, "the formality creeps me out."

          I didn't say that that made two of us, though that wasn't what I was creeped about.

Heathrow International Airport London, England 

          Dialing with shaky fingers. I hated that. I probably looked like a rookie. I hated looking like a rookie. Granted, my working knowledge was out of books and Jack Bauer's brain, but still…

          "Bauer."

          "It's me. Still clear?"

          "Yeah, go ahead."

          "Okay. Jack?"

          "Yeah."

          "Wish me luck?"

          "Good luck. Call me every day, remember?"

          "Got it. Over and out." I clapped my encoded cell phone shut and walked over to where the guys were dealing with the luggage. "That's an all clear."

          "Want to sound any more like an air traffic controller?" Tony quipped, and I just chuckled, grabbed my bag, and started over toward Lex, who was coming back with the keys to the rental car. "You tell me what's going on here, then, field captain," I said quietly enough so nobody else but my little field team could hear. He bit his lip. "We've got to figure out what that is first," he reminded me.

          I nodded but more to myself. How much did I actually know about what I was trying to do here? And could I get it done? No time for second-guessing. No time for anything but to just go out and play.

Los Angeles Two Years Earlier 

          I made my way through the light crowd in the outdoor plaza on my way into the Edwards theater. I was desperately trying for that FBI agent-adult cool that I tend to go for in my leather jacket, jeans and the CSI Las Vegas shirt my friend had mailed me a few months before. Checking my watch as I moved inside, I confirmed that I wasn't late. I was there right on time for the film festival's second intermission, at five p.m. on the head. It was easy to spot exactly who I was looking for because she was waiting for me in the lobby as she'd promised.

          She broke out a warm smile as I approached, and I couldn't help but return it. "It's great to see you again, Brittany," she said as we embraced.

          I chuckled. "The feeling's mutual, Mrs. Bauer."

          "Teri," she reminded me. I never could get used to calling her by her first name. "Brittany, this is my husband, Jack, and my daughter Kim."

          "It's a pleasure to finally meet you," I said as I shook Kim's hand, then Jack's.

          The man who would become my boss regarded me with an open warmth. I was a friend of his wife's, and I was an equal, not someone to be treated junior to him. The four of us spent the night talking and debating, and only because we ended up talking about my political philosophy did I launch myself into a brave new world. I didn't notice the piqued look Jack shot in my direction. All I know is that at some point the conversations were less with Teri about visual art and more with Jack about forensic science.

          I never looked back, or maybe I didn't have the chance.

The Hotel George 

**London, England**

"Brittany, it's time."

          "What?" I said, looking up from the floor. We were standing outside our pair of hotel rooms.

          Lex was looking at me. "You okay?"

          "Just thinking," I said. "What's up?"

          Tony and Lex exchanged a glance, then my new sibling turned back to me. "I'll go ahead and get you set up, and Weiss can handle their thing, and then we'll swap out," he said by way of explanation. I nodded, and followed him in as he unlocked the door to the room that Leticia and I would be sharing for obvious reasons on this rendezvous.

          As he prepared what would become our portable workstation, I set my suitcase on the bed and opened it up. Inside the front lining was the package I'd had to declare before I got on the plane. Inside of it was a nine-millimeter untraceable firearm with a detachable scope and the shoulder holster to put it in. I slipped off my jacket and slipped on the holster before grabbing my jacket again.

          Leticia was staring at my back. "You carry a _gun_?"

          "For this, yes, I'm carrying. CTU protocol," I explained, having slept with a copy of the orders manual, figuratively of course. "I don't like it any more than you do, but the people we might be up against … are very dangerous people."

          Lex was looking up from his kneeling position on the floor. He knew well the story of Nina Myers. As if I were suddenly aware of his attention, I met his gaze. "While you're over there, I want you to hand me the folder that should be in the case."

          He did. I broke the seal on the envelope, produced the folder and skimmed the paperwork that Jack and George Mason had put together, including two critical sources in England that would be of vital importance to accomplishing this recon outside of the Counterterrorism Center limits. One of them had a notation to contact the source immediately upon arrival in the country so he could establish countermeasures. I bit my lip and told myself this was it. There really wasn't any turning back.

          I picked up the phone and dialed. The line was picked up instantly.

          "This is Agent Lawrence," I explained. "We have made affirmation."

          "You're early."

          "I hadn't noticed, sir."

          "We'll meet at the British Museum in two hours."

          "That's fine." I hung up just as quickly and almost instantly a Trevor Hale quip sprang to mind. "You're going to get hurt? So what? Have a beautiful train wreck."


	5. Just Deal

Counter Terrorist Unit Los Angeles 

          George Mason was sitting at my desk staring at the paperweight I kept there. The relationship between the two of us was fairly ambiguous. I knew people didn't like him here, but my mind hadn't been made up yet. A lot of the time he came off as tough, cold and demanding. You didn't want to make him angry. But I had a sense that that wasn't all he was made of. He seemed to show some consideration and some compassion when you least expected it. And now, because he knew how much was riding on this operation, he had insisted on working with Jack to make sure it succeeded.

          Speaking of Agent Bauer, at that moment Jack dropped into what was ordinarily Lex's chair. "It's a stress reliever," he said by way of explanation of the paperweight.

          "When she grabs it or when she throws it at someone?"

          Jack just snickered, but he was establishing the land line between us and CTU, which would be the link we would use to feed him information and he would send our next orders to us via the same system. "It's been an hour since she called from the airport. They should be set up by now. I've told her to report in at least once every 24 hours, preferably more than that."

          "I don't expect they'll see much until tomorrow at the latest. It's almost nine o'clock London time, Jack."

          "I know. But one of their vices is that they don't actually sleep." He looked across to where Mason was further inspecting my desk. "You must be very bored, George."

          "Thought had crossed my mind." He pointed at the picture framed on my desk. "Isn't she a bit young to have a boyfriend?"

          "She's almost eighteen, and that's Jack Davenport." When Mason didn't get it, Jack elaborated: "He's a British actor."

          "You employ the strangest members of the CIA, you know that, Jack?"

          Jack just nodded, unable to hide a smile. "But they work."

          Just then the land line bleeped and Jack grabbed for his headset. "Bauer."

          "Jack, it's Lex. Tony and Brittany are in the British Museum meeting your source. We're across the street in the car. You want audio?"

          "Of course I want audio, give it to me," he said, making a motion for George to grab his own headset, which the senior agent did. "How long have they been in there?"

          "Only a few minutes. Contact any moment now. Stand by."

          They did, and in a few seconds static was replaced with pure silence, then sound:

          _"You don't have to be nervous."_

_          "Of course I'm nervous, Tony, I've never done this before. Anyway, where is this guy? Find me a map."_

_          "No, we're heading in the right direction. Down this set of stairs, down the hall, and round the corner."_

_          "All right."_

          At that same moment, Michelle Dessler walked over, and Jack hoped she couldn't see him roll his eyes. Even Mason looked, albeit veiled, disinterested when the new security specialist showed up, that expository look on her face that said she was probably going to restate the obvious.

          "What do you want, Michelle?" Mason asked.

          "There's a guy here from the main Agency, wants to speak to Jack."

          "Probably about this," Jack connected the dots, "what's his name?"

          "Michael Vaughn. He says he's found something."

          "Thank you, Michelle, I'll take care of it." Jack peeled off his headset and stood, saying needlessly, "George, watch the line for me."

          "Right, Jack."

          "Thank you." Jack walked away from our workstation and toward the front doors of CTU, able to spot the unfamiliar face amongst the sea of his own agents, whose names and faces he had tried and mostly succeeded to commit to memory. This Agent Vaughn carried himself with a conviction yet uncertainty. He was mostly sure of himself but something was missing. Somehow Jack thought working for the CIA might not have been this man's first choice. "Agent Vaughn, I'm Agent Bauer. You asked for me?"

          "Yes. Thank you for seeing me." The two of them shook hands. "We spoke on the phone earlier today. I'm co-handler for an agent you're working with."

          "Leticia Gallegos, yes. She's in London with Brittany Frederick's field team."

          "You have an excellent memory."

          "Only from many years of experience. Is there a problem?"

          "Not a problem, per se, Agent Bauer. New information." Vaughn handed Jack a file folder. "Before she left, my partner and I had Leticia working on tracking the disappearance of the key files for the Department of Defense." Over Jack's incredulous look, he continued. "She couldn't get that far, but we turned the investigation over to other agents at our office. They discovered the last known location of the key files before they disappeared."

          "What does this have to do with the field team? I'm running a murder investigation here, Agent Vaughn."

          "The key files were traced to England."

          "Jack!" Mason yelled, his powerful voice echoing across the room. "We've got a situation!"

          Vaughn trailing behind him, Jack bolted across the room back to the workstation as Mason unplugged the headsets and turned up the speakers so the audio could be heard in the whole of CTU. "What's going on?" he said, almost disturbed. "George, what's happening?"

          "Listen to this guy," was all Mason said. But what they actually _heard_ was me having a controlled panic attack.

          _"You're saying this is confirmed? She's definitely here?"_

_          "It's confirmed, Agent Frederick. The woman you know as Nina Myers is here in England as we speak."_

_          Tony: "Why? What does she want?"_

_          "She's making a trade for the key files of the Department of Defense." This from Oliver Sampson, British master spy, redeemed antihero, and CTU source. "She can get them very quickly, but she's chosen to wait it out."_

_          "Why would she wait? That's not at all like Nina…"_

_          "She's waiting because she expects that there will be resistance." Oliver paused. "English translation, Agent Almeida, she wants the key files, she's taking out world counterterrorism installations, and she's going to take as many people down with their agencies as she possibly can."_

Jack swore. "Michelle! I need backup plans for the London team, right now!"

          "She broke into CTU, now she's going for England," Mason was following the trail. "Her masters get the inside track on counter-terrorism, with the key files they tear our defense wide open, plus she gets to shoot a couple of our guys on the way. I should have caught her last year." He seemed furious with himself.

          "We all made mistakes, George," Jack cut him off. "The important thing – if Nina has a chance at our guys, we have another chance at taking her down."

The British Museum 

**London, England**

          I took a long, shuddering breath. "My God, Nina will kill me." My gaze flicked from Tony to Oliver. Oliver was definitely a good guy to have on our side. He was just as good as Nina, except he was playing for the angels, and if we were taking on Nina, we'd need him. "What can we do? We'll need more than five CIA agents, you and some big guns."

          Oliver nodded. "I've contacted Pearse Harman, the head of CIB, a special branch of the police. He owes me a favor. He said he thought of someone that could help us, one of his staff, a man named Michael Colefield. We'll all be meeting tomorrow morning at five at this address," he continued, handing me a piece of paper. "Then I understand you've already got arrangements to get into the Counterterrorism Center."

          "That's correct."

          "Be careful in there. I can't tell yet if anyone in there has been compromised or if the CC was an unwilling conduit for Ms. Myers' operations. Until then you're operating blind."

          "What do we do until then?"

          "Try not to die."


	6. Get It Done

Carstensen Park Off the Thames River 

**London, England**

          I was watching the light in his eyes as we stood there talking. It seemed to have a life of its own, moving, flickering, simply being. I'd never known a man with so much light in his eyes. It was kind of mystifying, actually. And yet, in a game of spies, secrets and national genocide, Michael Colefield had little to no mystery about him. He was a straight shooter, darkly handsome, bluntly honest, and damned determined to do the right thing. No, the amazingly good-looking and definitely sharp on his wits ex-cop I was talking to carried no surprises about him, unless you considered that he worked for a vampire hunting, Vatican-funded group called CIB weird. I didn't, but then I've seen a lot of sci-fi.

          "First time in England then?" Michael was saying.

          I shook my head. "Second. First time was maybe about a year ago."

          "Was it business then too?"

          "No, not that time." I looked out at where I could see the Thames. "This time I think I may need some aspirin."

          His lips quirked with a small smirk. "I don't blame you."

          From off in the distance, Leticia's voice broke my reply: "Spike from _Buffy_."

          I spun on my heel and shot her the most withering glare I could imagine. She was sitting on a bench maybe twenty feet away with Weiss and Lex. Tony and Oliver were having some heated discussion over there, too. We'd all come over here after meeting for breakfast and strategy cross the street, and after I had been caught watching _Coupling_ on DVD, she was now thoroughly irritating me by continually naming British guys and/or their characters that I had little 'things' for. She'd already gone through Anthony Stewart Head and Giles. If she went on to John Hannah, we were going to have a little talk.

          "Knock it off," I said firmly, as Michael just looked amused behind me.

          She just laughed.

          "I'm serious. Please. Knock it off. I can't do this like this."

          "That was a perfectly vague sentence," Lex commented.

          "Oh, not you too!" I said a little harsher than intended, and he blinked at me with due sympathy. "Guys, it's not like I don't think it's funny. Well, actually it stopped being funny half an hour ago. But the important thing is we have a job to do … and we've got to get it done. So can we please drop the funny until I'm not under threat of possibly being shot in the back of the head?"

          Everyone shut the heck up at my blunt statement. Only Oliver looked like he understood what I was going through, but he was quite a jaded operative and had been through a lot more than probably all of us combined. I finally just sighed deeply, regained control of myself, and assumed my rightful position as assistant field leader.

          "Tony, time."

          "It's seven thirty-two."

          "What time is your appointment at the CC?" Oliver said.

          "Eight-fifteen. Are you coming?"

          "Me, no. I've got to make prep on this," he said, gesturing toward the laptop where we had come up with some solid starting ideas as to how to locate Nina and the key files. "I'll see you tonight back here, round eight after dinner." Then he looked over my shoulder. "Michael, you can go with them, yeah?"

          Colefield nodded. "Yeah, Pearse has cut me loose for a few days. I'll be fine."

          "Good." Oliver seemed satisfied as he surveyed the six of us. "You probably want to get going."

          "Wish us luck?" I said hopefully.

          "Good luck," he said, "though I hope you don't need it."

          "Me too," I replied as we started packing up to get on our way. As Lex, Tony, Weiss and Leticia were getting their stuff together, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed CTU. I had meant to call as soon as I had gotten up in the morning, but I wanted something to give Jack. What I had now was just a half-plan, but it was something.

          "Bauer."

          "It's me," I said as I started walking toward where Tony had parked the car. "We made contact with Oliver and Michael, and we've got our plan. I assume you heard about Nina and the key files of the DOD."

          "We have your audio," Jack said. "Listen, Brittany…"

          "Stay away from Nina?"

          "Yes, hopefully, but…" He paused. "Those key files also had something to do with Chappelle's death. Leticia's other handler was down here with proof. I don't like it, but Nina and Chappelle's murder run right into each other. George and I are trying to get you backup, but you know how long it'll take. Whatever you do, watch yourself."

          "I always do, Jack."

          "I know."

          I nodded more to myself and hung up the phone. What a bloody good trip to London this was turning out to be.

          At the car I stopped, turned round.

          "Did I just see Professor Berghof?"

Counterterrorism Center London, England 

There were these ideas in my head of what a good CTU agent was supposed to be. Other than my own idealist complex, after so long of working shoulder-to-shoulder with great people like Jack, Tony, Lex and even Mason, I had raised the bar on myself. I was not just the civilian kid coming in to punch keys and lend advice. I was the civilian officer who was supposed to be the pillar for Jack to fall back on, who was supposed to find what could not be found, and to go all the way.

          It was time to go all the way.

_*__You don't remember me but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
But who can decide what they dream?  
And dream I do...*_

The truth was, I was scared. Scared, unprepared, and weak. But honor and right superceded all else, even my own life.

          Heading into the building, the six of us decided to split into groups of three and canvass the building that much faster. Over Weiss's protests, I took Leticia with me, and Michael as well. We agreed to handle the left side of the building. Our job was to find anything that would help us protect this facility and its agents, and to stop Nina Myers. Thing was, I knew I couldn't stop Nina Myers.

          "What are we looking for?" Leticia asked me as we stepped into an elevator.

          "Anything, everything, and a prayer," I said with a shrug. "Anything that keeps people from dying."

          "What is wrong with you?" she asked me.

          "Wrong?" I said. "You try not freaking out in a situation like this."

          "Right."

          "Okay."

          The elevator dinged and let us out on the main operational floor.

_*I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
You're taking over me*_

"I'll start talking to some people," Michael suggested. "See what I can find out, who we need to talk to."

          "Okay," I agreed, leaving it to the expert. "There's got to be a computer around here somewhere…"

          Leticia scanned the room. "Over there."

          I followed her gaze, muttering under my breath "Here goes nothing and everything" before I dropped my shoulder, set myself into that "CTU agent stride" and headed straight over. My skin felt cold. Was it that cold in here, or was I just freaking out? I knew it was probably just me as I dropped into the chair.

          "What do you want me to do?" she asked me.

          "Get my back," I suggested. "You heard Oliver. This place could be compromised. Are you carrying?"

          She stared at me like I'd just told her there was no God. I cursed myself for not remembering, reached into my jacket, feeling the cold metal of my nine-millimeter service-issue weapon, and handed her the tazer I kept in one of the inside pockets. "I know you know how to use it," I said, trying to be funny, but the joke died.

_*Have you forgotten all I know_

_And all we had?_

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand_

_I know you loved me then*_

Weiss was playing with his yo-yo absently. "Anything yet?"

          "Not yet," Tony said, "What the hell are you doing?"

          "Hey, I'll have you know this can function as a deadly weapon."

          Tony rolled his eyes. Lex was scanning the security camera feeds, trying to get a feel for the place. Jack's information on the CC was no substitute for actually being there. He suddenly froze.

          "What?" Tony said, a little exasperated.

          "We're not ready yet," Lex muttered, and Tony's eyes narrowed.

_*I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
You're taking over me*_

"The security cameras, there's somebody coming in from the sub-basement service corridor," Lex continued, pointing it out on the screen. "And they're armed."

          "Oliver was right, this place is compromised," Tony said.

          Weiss stashed the yo-yo for the time being. "How many are there?"

          "Four, maybe five, I can't get a good read. Any of them look familiar to you, Tony?"

          "No, none of them." Tony and Weiss exchanged a glance. "We've got to warn the others."

          Weiss pulled out his cell phone. "I'm on it." He bit his lip. "This so cannot be happening."

_*I look in the mirror and see your face_

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside that are just like you_

_Are taking over*_

My phone rang, and I stood up from the computer and motioned Leticia over to finish the job. She looked relieved that she didn't have to just stand around and hold the tazer. I wanted her to feel useful, she was useful, it was just that I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I didn't want to cause a panic, so I answered the phone discreetly.

          Michael came back over. "We've got to talk to a Sarah Everton, I made arrangements."

          "Right," I said, "Agent Lawrence."

          "Brittany, it's Weiss," the other agent said breathlessly. "We've got to get the hell out of here."

          "Why?"

          "This place is compromised and under attack. Five of them. Armed."

          That's when I said perhaps the stupidest thing I've ever said in my life.

          "I'm not leaving."

          "What?"

          "I'm not leaving people here to die, Agent Weiss," I said, getting Michael and Leticia's attention. "There are five of them and a whole bunch more of us. This is our best lead. And this is the most important part, if people are in trouble, it's my job to save them, or at least give them the dignity of standing by their side."

          Tony snagged the phone. "Brittany, this is an order, get out of there."

          I pulled out my gun and checked that it was loaded, clicking the safety off even as I was giving hand signal orders to Michael and Leticia, who both produced and readied their own weapons. I didn't know if they were standing with me or not, or why I was doing this, but I just felt that we couldn't bail this close. "If you want to go, go," I said, "but some of us have got to do the right thing."


	7. Graceless Lady

Counterterrorism Center 

**London, England**

          I'd signed my own death sentence and I wasn't even feeling anything. _So this is what it's like_, I thought, suddenly feeling closer to my boss and my mentor than ever before. I had always said I would give up my life to save another life, to do the right thing. That principle had been challenged now, and I had stood by it. But at what cost?

          "If you want to go," I told both the people still standing with me, "go."

          This statement was directed at my best friend. I didn't want to see her killed for my beliefs. Actually, that was true for anyone, but especially not her. Michael, however, cut me off. "If you go, then we go," he said evenly. "How many and how long?"

          "Five of them, armed. They've compromised the place." I sighed. "Do we tell them and let them know that we know? We've got to warn them."

          "No time. Get back on the phone. Get everyone together."

          I deferred to Michael's judgment and started to dial. My hands were shaking again. Just as I completed the call and got my basic information out, the door came crashing open. That's when I figured it out.

          They were coming for me.

          I raised my weapon and prepared to fire until I realized I was looking straight into Tony's eyes. Shuddering, I lowered my weapon. I'd almost shot my co-worker. How far gone was I?

          "Come on," Tony said, not giving me the time to answer myself. "We can cut them off if we move now."

          Racing out the door, we joined up with the others in the hallway. My pulse was racing. When I had joined CTU, I had made myself undergo intense physical training. I had trained with Jack and Tony for hours, mastering various forms of combat, getting into shape, learning how to survive and how to fight. I'd never had to use any of those skills until today. But people couldn't just be left to die.

          "Lex," I said suddenly, "is the data protected?"

          "I've got it."

          "Get it to the car. I want it safe and out of here." At his unconvinced look I summoned up my best 'Jack Bauer is my boss' tone of voice. "Go!"

          "Do what she says, Lex," Tony added, but we were busy running for the elevator.

_*Heaven's in your eyes_

_And it's begging me to lie_

_You're waiting for a little more_

Of those words you want to hear But the silence weighs on me 

_And I think it's time to leave_

_Before I go, you gotta know_

_Why nothing's ever clear*_

"There are five of these guys, and they're trained killers, they could be Nina's guys," Tony was explaining as the elevator descended rapidly. "I'd like to take one of them alive if possible, but… Everybody take one, Weiss, Michael, we cover for these guys," he added with a nod in mine and Leticia's direction. I wasn't offended; we were the weakest in combat, after all. I let the idea slide and decided to just do my job.

          Weiss and Tony, at the front of the elevator, were prepared to take the first assault. I felt Leticia to my left and Michael to my right. Everybody was armed, and aside from the two of us, everybody knew how to use their weapons. It wasn't like we were flying blind. This was a choice that we made.

          In the silence, Weiss: "Here we go."

          And we went.

_*You know I have to walk away_

_Don't you try to stop and save me_

_When it all falls down_

_When it all falls down_

_You know I tried but I can't change_

_So go ahead and blame me_

_When it all falls down_

_'Cause it'll all fall down*_

"Federal agents! Drop your weapons!" That was Tony.

          A beat of silence, doing the math; Tony wouldn't let them get so far as to draw their weapons. 

          My safety was off and I put someone's head in my sights. I tried not to think of the fact that he was a person.

          Tony fired and I squeezed my trigger, trying not to look anyway as the man went down in a spray of blood and bone. Weiss and Michael fired at the same time I did, their shots dead on. Weiss looked a little surprised at himself. Instinctively, we all re-aimed at the one surviving target. I was shaking. I'd just wounded a guy, and he'd probably die from his injuries.

          This was worse than any R-rated movie. But it was also life.

_*In the spiderweb_

_Trapped by what I've said_

_As you can see I'll never be_

_What you really want so_

_I'll just hide behind _

_This attitude, dissolve my pride_

_It's made the choice to keep your voice_

_From creeping to my inside*_

More math – one of him, four guns pointed at his head. 

          As Tony borrowed Michael's handcuffs, we kept our weapons to bear. I figured I'd never be able to eat again. "Somebody will want to notify security," I just said randomly. Michael nodded. I saw somewhere in his eyes that he understood what I had just been made to do.

          Good for him, because I certainly didn't.

_*You know I tried but I can't change_

_So go ahead and blame me_

_When it all falls down_

_'Cause it'll all fall down*_

Outside Vincent's Restaurant 

**London, England**

          I stepped out of the car, the emptiness both inside the vehicle and my stomach. Leticia was waiting on the curb and Michael locked the car, looking across it at the both of us. Tony and Weiss were still at the CC, helping with the cleanup and interrogation. Lex was getting the microhpone wiring out of the trunk. I hadn't said much since the shooting.

          As I rounded the car to go into the building, where my mid-day appointment with Sarah Everton waited (after she'd heard the news of what had happened, she had agreed to see us promptly), Michael took me by the arm. I looked into his eyes again. The fire was sobering now. I wanted to trust him, more than I wanted to trust a lot of people.

          "Is there anything I can do?"

          "Just stay safe," I said as Lex was wiring me up. "I don't want to lose anyone else tonight."

          "It will be okay," he said, trying to be encouraging. "I know."

          The two of us stared at each other for a moment until Lex pronounced me ready to go. I looked at Leticia and the two of us walked across the street into the little French restaurant. As we stopped inside the door, I scanned the room as Tony and Jack had taught me to. My eyes went wide and I grabbed her arm.

          "What? Ow, that hurts."

          "Sorry." I pointed across the room. "Is that Professor Berghof?"

          "Is it? Ew."

          "Yeah." Another scan. "Okay, I found her. Over there with the red hair. See her?"

          She nodded, and we proceeded to the table (all the while trying to decide if Berghof was a hallucination of ours or not; eventually we had to admit that he was real). Sarah Everton, the red-headed Counterterrorism Center H.R. administrator, was supposed to be our resource person. She assisted PV review teams – although by now it was obvious we were not a PV review team, we were now covering for ourselves thanks to Michael's very quick, Oliver-assisted lie that we were Special Branch – and she was a higher-up. 

          The two of us slid into the booth. "Thank you for seeing us," I said. Diplomacy first, you know.

          "It's not a problem," she said. "Considering what happened today, I'll do anything to put things right."

          I tried not to freeze and succeeded. I knew that voice anywhere. I looked away from the menu into Sarah Everton's eyes. Eyes that I knew. 

          She was Nina Myers.

          I watched her face for recognition; she didn't seem to know me (then again, I had also changed my hair color) and she definitely didn't know Leticia. We talked, and we ordered lunch. I was having lunch with my boss's wife's (and my close friend's) killer. It was disturbing, but I know how to play my cool. No immediate threat, but there could be.

          Nina/Sarah smiled at me warmly. "I have to say, I expected someone…"

          "Older? Yes, I get that a lot." I chuckled. "But it's always good to start early, I suppose."

          She nodded. "Being proactive is always a good thing."

          Professor Berghof had gotten up and was walking to the door. He had to pass right by our table as he did so. I think he did a double take, but he didn't say anything, which was good, because I didn't want to open _that_ door, or worse, pass out face down in my pasta. Involuntarily, I rolled my eyes.

          The conversation continued for almost an hour, with the trading of files and the explanations that went with them and the occasional small talk. I kept details of my "identity" close to my chest, and for her part Leticia did the same thing. I think she knew who we were dealing with. As good as Nina/Sarah was, you really can't hide the soul of a killer from those who know where to look.

          We finished lunch, shook hands, promised to meet some other time; as she left and we headed for the restroom, I was really glad Tony wasn't in the car. Hers sped by as I made it to the ladies' room. Done washing my hands, I made my way through the restaurant and out the door. My first instinct was to take a long deep breath, then head directly across the street and launch myself at Lex. My partner seemed surprised, but held on to me.

          I came up with only a Krycek quote: "It's all gone to hell."


	8. Never Leave Me

Piccadilly Circus 

**London, England**

          My skin felt cold as I felt the teardrop slide down my cheek and hit the pavement. I wiped at my eyes. The one thing that kept me sane was the man beside me.

          It had been hours now since I had killed a man, since I had come face-to-face with Nina Myers. It was five or so, and at six we were all meeting for dinner at the restaurant in our hotel. Tony and Weiss had come back from the CC and were at the hotel comparing notes; Leticia was taking a nap, her head acting up again (and she was also doped up on Sudafed as a result); Lex was, as usual, playing with the gear. 

After dinner, Oliver was supposed to bring himself to the fray, as well as our new Special Branch paperwork. I don't know if he saw the true terror in my eyes or what (launching yourself at your partner can also be a sign), but Michael had asked if I wanted to go out and walk around, and since the alternative was brooding over my job status, I'd taken him up on that. Now I held his hand ever tighter as we walked the mostly empty streets in London's equivalent to Times Square.

"You're going to crush my hand like that."

"Oh, sorry, I hadn't noticed." I relinquished my grip a bit. "Feel like I'm blind, you know? Never … never done that before … never thought I would …"

"I know." His voice was soft, tinged with more than sympathy. "I've been in that position before."

"Michael…" I started. "I didn't know."

"Kept it to myself, mostly. My partner, my best friend, turned by the Code Fives. Had to kill him myself." To his credit, he just seemed sad about the whole exchange, not bitter, not full of rage. I knew people who'd go psycho if such an incident happened to them. Jack, for instance. He kept it down, but there was a current of fury burning in him now. But Michael, no, he just seemed recalcitrant. Like he thought he needed redemption. That feeling was in me now.

"My God," I said, staring at him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It had to be done," he said, looking off at the stars covering the early evening sky. "At least I did it for him. Owed him that much."

I nodded. I knew too well about honor, dignity and the many things we tried to covet that weren't that easy to keep. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this," I suggested softly, not wanting to be dragged under again.

"Probably smarter." He looked over at me. "You didn't deserve something like that."

"I asked for it. I was trying to do the right thing." I exhaled, and I was able to see my breath in the night. "When I grew up, you know, with the disability, I made a promise that I'd try to leave the world a better place."

"That what you were doing joining the CIA at sixteen?"

"Something like that." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "You know what always makes me feel better?"

Now there was a smirk on his face. "What's that?"

"Isn't there a Borders around here?"

The smile on his face was accompanied by due sarcasm: "My God, you actually still read."

"And I love TV," I said as we headed down the appropriate street. "Now come on, you can watch me freak out."

"Nothing else I'd rather be doing."

Ten minutes later we had arrived at the largest bookstore in London, a massive two-story Borders Books & Music that included a full music section, a café, and – here's the important part – a whole ton of books. The last time I had been here I almost couldn't get all the stuff I bought into my suitcase. This time, I knew my way around and pounced on the up escalator to get to where I needed to be. My mood had improved, and so had Michael's amusement at my behavior switch.

"So how many books do you own?"

"Couple hundred, I figure. I stopped counting." We stepped off the escalator and I headed straight for the mystery section. "That's the one perk of being here though. My favorite authors are British, Ian Rankin and Nick Hornby."

"Not surprised, given all of Leticia's facts about you."

I rolled my eyes, scanning the shelves to see if the new Rankin was out, which indeed it was. I hefted _Beggars Banquet_ in one hand. Like all of Ian's novels, it was rather weighty, and probably over five hundred pages at that. I owned the complete series, and I would never pass a new one up. Michael put his hands on my shoulders, and I nearly jumped.

"And you've read all of those, I'm guessing."

I feigned innocence. "I may have."

He chuckled. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Working on my screenplay and trying not to flunk out of higher education." I grabbed the book and turned round to circle and look for James Lee Burke, following Michael, who was over searching for James Ellroy. I think I was blushing. "Anyway, your social life can't be as bad as mine."

"Let's see, Code Fives, my apartment exploded, and I can't speak to anyone I actually knew. I doubt that." He eyed me as I came over beside him. "Isn't that all relative anyway?"

"A lot of things are relative." I sighed. "Thank you for being here for me, Michael. I appreciate it."

He smiled thinly. "Just trying to do the right thing."

For a while, in his company, it was easy to forget why I was really in London again, who I really was. It was easy to think I was just back to buy more novels, stalk Jack Davenport, and spend time in the company of an incredibly handsome, smart and sympathic guy that bore a slight resemblance to Jack Davenport. We were able to smile and laugh, make subtle jokes, and let the stress go. But it wouldn't wait forever. I knew that somewhere, in the back of my mind.

We stopped to get coffee at the café, and soon I found myself opening up to this man that I felt like I had known all my life. It was a feeling I hadn't felt since I'd met Chris all those years ago.

"It's so easy to try to do the right thing," I found myself saying. "Just put your heart and soul into it, make a commitment to something other than yourself, be prepared to go all the way. And yet so many people are so self-absorbed. I couldn't be that kind of person. I saw a dark side of the world, and I wanted to make something better than that. I knew that would demand of me as much as it would of other people. It's not fair to ask someone to do what you wouldn't do."

"That's an idealistic ideology," Michael said, "it must be hard."

"It is hard. But I learned I had to stand for something."

"That's what I always said. Why I became a cop. People need help. Half the time they won't admit it, but people can't do things alone. And I wanted them to know they weren't alone. Maybe I wanted to know I wasn't alone, I don't know. Combination of both, I guess."

"It's a tough world," I concurred. "But we make it tougher than it has to be."

"We honestly do." He stopped, looking at me for a moment. "How do you know so much?"

"I wouldn't say I know that much at all." I took a long drink, laughed a little. "I think I'm an old soul. There's a running joke that I'm really 28 in a 17-year-old's body." Then I paused. "Sometimes it's not that funny."

"Like tonight."

"Yeah." I exhaled. "I lost it all, recently … left high school and nobody wants anything to do with me anymore. A friend was killed. A hero was killed. I got played. Had myself a nice emotional breakdown. That's when I really committed to working at CTU. It was pretty much all I had left. CTU and Leticia."

          "Nobody else?" He seemed surprised.

          "A best friend upstate, but we don't see each other anymore." I sighed. "They keep saying that will change. I keep waiting. But you know what they say, ninety percent of the game is waiting. Just go out and play."

          "That's all we can do."

          "Yeah. It just … does it ever scare you sometimes?"

          "More often than you think."

We paused in a mutual silence, in a mutual vulnerability.

He took my hand across the table, held it tight. "Until this is over, I'll always be right here."

"I know."

Still holding on to each other, both metaphorically and physically, we rose as one and exited the café. It was getting darker outside, and a light rain had begun to fall on the grand streets of London. I felt the warmth in Michael's lips as he kissed me on the cheek at the same time I felt the weight of the nine-millimeter still in my holster.

The walk back to the hotel was only maybe fifteen minutes, and I spent them thinking over what had happened, what was to come. Part of it was strategy – what did the clues say, what was the next move, where did we go from here? But part of it was personal – could I take the pain, could I rise to the challenge, was I the one that should be right here, right now? I had been giving a lot of thought to whether or not I would even stay with CTU when this tour of duty was over, if it ever was over.

As the warmth of the restaurant hit me, as we walked together over to the table where Tony and Weiss and Leticia and Lex were all waiting for us, I had made my decision.


	9. Fatal To Be Kind

The Hotel George 

**London, England**

          "My God…" I blurted, thinking I was going to choke on my dinner. "I know you're right, but I'm terrified and we haven't actually done anything yet."

          Across the table, Tony nodded. "It's not easy for me either, though I know we've both dreamed about putting a bullet in her skull. But the more we think about this … the more real it becomes."

          "Confronting Nina?" I closed my eyes for a moment as if it would all be a dream. "She'll kill me, Tony."

          "Not on my watch," Michael replied.

          I took a long, deep breath and surveyed the table. With the exceptions of Michael, Tony, and Oliver – who was absolutely intractable and largely ambivalent – everybody looked just as apprehensive as I was. We had a number of objectives now that certain truths about our international excursion had been revealed. Recover the DOD key files. Prove that Nina Myers murdered Ryan Chappelle. Prevent the destruction of the Counterterrorism Center. And stop Nina Myers. Sure enough, all those roads lead right to Nina. That didn't mean I had to like the idea of taking her on.

          "So what?" Weiss said, breaking the silence. "We just walk up to her and shoot her?"

          "We've got two choices." Everyone momentarily jumped at the sound of Oliver's level voice. "One is to wait until she makes her trade for the key files, and ambush that, recovering the files and hopefully scrambling any destruction of the CC. However, that means she most likely escapes, and proof for your District Director's murder goes with her."

          "What's the second choice?"

          "We take her hostage and interrogate her until she reveals the location of the key files, confesses to the murder, and her plan collapses."

          "Is there a third choice?"

          Lex: "Can we even talk about this here?"

          Oliver looked nonplussed, glaring at Weiss, who cowered in his seat. No wonder we were the only people within a three table radius of ourselves. Finally, Tony put down his dinner fork and looked in Oliver's direction. "You know the chances of us getting our hands on her are very rare, Oliver."

          "That's what I'm counting on."

          Leticia put up a hand. "All right, I'm lost."

          "We've established that her motive for this is to take out counter-terrorism agencies and their agents, as many as possible. We've established that she has no great love for any of you, especially not you," Oliver continued, glancing at me and Tony. "If she knows who you are, she might attempt to reveal herself in order to take you out, at which point we seize on the moment. She also will likely confess to the murder of Ryan Chappelle with little provocation to one of you, as she's probably proud of it and would love to use it against you. Psychologically, she has a number of weaknesses in your custody."

          "And physically, she can rip my throat out," I insisted. "Besides, we don't even know where she is, and we may not even have that kind of manpower."

          "All I need is a window of time, Agent Frederick, and I'll make it happen." Oliver focused his attention on me, intense as it was. "You said she didn't recognize you?"

          "If she did, she didn't indicate as such." I was realizing this was a viable if difficult option. "Even if we get her, we'll need a more secure detention facility than our hotel room, and more manpower than we've got. She is a threat of the highest class and we can't just package her up."

          "I've got that covered," Michael said from beside me, and I turned to look at him. "CIB has some incredibly secure facilities. I also work with Vaughan Rice, ex-Army, and believe me he's more than enough force. Between him, myself, Oliver and Tony, we can take her down. I can call ahead and have backup and a facility standing by."

          Oliver nodded. "Make the call."

          "I'll do that tonight."

          Leticia and I were looking at each other, severely creeped out. "Wait," she said, "so when do you plan on doing this?"

          "Tomorrow," Tony cut in. "We're supposed to be home in three days. We don't have a choice."

          I swallowed, checking my watch, which now read just after nine. I could see it all playing out: Michael, Tony, Oliver and Vaughan on a strike team to kidnap Nina. Myself, Leticia and Weiss probably responsible for the interrogation. Banking on her absence throwing her plan into chaos. Lex probably having to commit some crimes. This was demanding, and I didn't know if I could follow through, but Tony was right, we didn't have a choice. I pushed back from the table.

          "I want this cleared through Jack first," I announced. "I'm going to my room."

          A glance in Leticia's direction confirmed that my good friend was following me. Together, we exited the restaurant and took the elevator to our floor.

          "How can you do this?" she was asking me. "I've never…"

          "Me either. I've done a lot, Jack believes in me … but nothing like this." I rolled up my sleeve and showed her a scar on my wrist. "I got that during physical training. Nina helped Jack to train me for active duty. She knows me and I expect she'll use that against me. But what can you do?"

          She just exhaled. "This is nuts."

          "Welcome to my world," I said as we unlocked the door. "I've got to read up on interrogative procedure, stuff like that. I'd suggest that you learn to use my gun." At her stare, I continued, "Anything could happen and I want you to be safe."

          "I'm having a long talk with Vaughn," she muttered, closing the door behind her.

          I plugged in my laptop and clicked on the stereo, selecting an appropriate song that made her smile. Glad there was some moment of joy in our questionable double existence.

_*I don't wanna be no man's woman_

_It don't make me happy this mantrolling_

_Thing that you got for me so I become_

_No man's woman*_

My laptop had backed-up files on everything I ever needed to know. Lex joked that I was compiling my own encyclopedia. I brought up the file on Nina, which included the stuff that hadn't been declassified yet, and stared at her file photo again. I had trusted her. And Tony was right, I had thought about shooting her. Many, many times. Most of the time for Jack. But once or twice for me.

_*I don't wanna be no man's woman_

_I've other work I want to get done_

_I haven't travelled this far to become_

_No man's woman_

_No man's woman*_

Psychologically, my brain was on a tape loop. Memories of Nina as I had known her flooded my head, fought back with memories of Teri's dead body, of Nina as the killer we knew, and Nina trying to repeat the same process all over again. Slowly, my fear turned to rage and a driving need for justice. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.

          This time, justice would find her. As always, it would mostly be for Jack. But it would also be for me. It would come from me, with the help of my friends, and I would be the justice I wanted to have. If I were lucky. If I didn't end up dead. But that was a chance I'd just have to take. Looking over at Leticia, I hoped I didn't cost her her life in the doing. Somehow, though, I thought she understood. At least she wasn't accidentally shooting the hotel room wall. It made me smile. I needed to feel that.

_*Because I'm tired of it_

_And I'm so scared of it_

_That I'll never trust again_

_Because a man can fake you_

_Take your soul and make you_

_Miserable in so much pain*_

Sitting on my bed, I reached over and dialed Jack's home number. I knew it was late and he wouldn't be at the office anymore, but he needed to know what was happening – not just as my boss, but as my mentor and my friend. He picked up on the second ring, and I found myself cradling the phone as if it were a holiday conversation, as if it might be my last chance to say something to the man who'd seen me so far and yet, was helping me stand on my own.

          "What happened?" he asked me.

          I explained the details of Oliver and Tony's plan. "They want to go after Nina, Jack," I said. "They want to bring her down. Risking everything to do it, but it's the only way we have a shot at stopping half of what she has planned. And to do it, I'm going to have to be right there."

          Silence on the line for a moment. "Are you all right with this?"

          "No," I admitted, "But does it really matter?"

          "It matters to me. You matter to me." Jack seemed wounded, at least in his voice. "But I trust your judgment. That's why I sent you out there. If I'd known it would be this bad … but I know you'll do the right thing. Nina can hurt you, Brittany, never forget that. But Tony's right, we can't let her hurt more people."

          "This is for you, Jack," I told him, "I'm doing this for you, for Teri, for Kim, for us."

          "I know." He paused. "But you're also doing it because it's right. That's what matters." 

          More silence.

          "Is Tony in the other room?" he asked me. "I'll talk it out with him."

          "Yeah," I said, "I've got to work on the profile … we go up tomorrow and …"

          "I understand. Have him call me when he gets up. Phone me in the morning." Jack exhaled. "Whatever you're going to do, I'm proud of you, both as an agent and a friend. When you come back to CTU, there's a promotion waiting for you."

          "I'm looking forward to the day, Jack," I said. "Just have to earn it first."

          We said good night and I hung up the phone. The computer was humming, unlocking encrypted file after encrypted file. There was something disturbing about having ESPN on the TV and my best friend holding a Glock nine-millimeter aiming at Rich Eisen's forehead. I reached across to my suitcase and produced my second weapon, left cradling it as I wondered if I'd go down fighting. I was proud to go down fighting for something that meant something, and somehow I'd find it in me to be ready.

          And a somber line played on the stereo:

_*My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets…*_


	10. Evanescence

The Hotel George 

**London, England**

          "You okay in there?" Leticia asked me, knocking on the bathroom door.

          I pushed my hair out of the way, gargled some mouthwash, spit, rinsed and took a long deep breath. It was five a.m. I'd been up for the last half hour, and I hadn't been able to keep my breakfast down. Finally with the taste of bile out of my mouth, I composed myself and opened the door. There were dark circles under my eyes and I knew she was wondering what the hell had happened to me. Not mentioning the nightmare I'd had, I nodded and said, "I'm okay."

          She didn't believe me.

          I was already dressed for the occasion, one step up from my usual working gear in a black T-shirt that was tight in the sleeves, my usual black leather jacket, and cargo pants with hiking boots. I knew I'd do a bit of running today, and I knew I'd probably get hurt, but that's why I'd brought the first aid kit. My usual Watcher necklace hung around my neck, cold against my collarbone, and my watch was tighter on my wrist than usual. I didn't want it sliding off in a fight. The Ehrlich 400 was in its holster, and I had handcuffs with me just in case. I probably looked like I was trying to go Olivia Benson or something, which maybe I was. I didn't know. I just sat at the little table and tried to figure this out.

          "We've got another hour," she said to me gently. "You should go back to bed."

          "I won't be able to sleep," I said, looking at her. "I've got to get her off my mind. Only way I do that is in doing this."

          "Well, in that case, I may as well stay up."

          I half-smiled. "In that case, flip on the stereo, would you?"

          When I used to need to psych myself up, I used to play Paul Oakenfold's "Dark Machine." I don't know what it was about that song, but it snapped me into a T-1000 like state of existence – and still does – where I didn't need to blink, to breathe, to feel, just to acquire my target. This time, I had another song in mind. I closed my eyes and tried to find that dark place inside of me I still denied, to bring it out again. She might get scared, but the Terminator in me would be my only lifeline headlong into the void.

*_Now I will tell you what I've done for you_

_Fifty thousand tears I've cried_

_Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you_

_And you still won't hear me going under_

_Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself_

_Maybe I'll wake up for once_

_Not tormented daily, defeated by you_

_Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom_

_I'm dying again*_

An hour later Tony showed up at the door with flak jackets for the both of us. I slipped it on, then slid back into my leather jacket, and headed past him down the hall. Michael, Lex and Weiss were all there. Oliver and Vaughan were to meet us on site. I had requested a morning meeting with Sarah Everton at the same restaurant, outdoors this time. Outdoors to minimize the chances of hostages or casualties. Thankfully – or maybe not so – you couldn't tell I was wearing a bulletproof vest as it was a slim one, made specially for me. I felt like an extra in that _S.W.A.T._ movie with Josh Charles.

          "What about telecom?" I asked to Lex as I walked with him.

          "I'll wire everyone when we get to the car. I promise you she'll never know." Even Lex, our perpetual comedian, good-hearted soul and optimist, seemed graver today. He knew exactly what was being asked of all of us, and what could we do but rise to the occasion?

          "If I get killed today," I told Lex as we exited the lobby, "I want my tombstone to say 'She tried.'"

          He looked disturbed but didn't comment, just nodded. Agent's honor.

_*I'm going under_

_Drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_Got to break through_

_I'm going under*_

The two cars drove in silence across town. I was in the lead car, Lex driving, Tony in the passenger seat, myself in the back seat by the window with Leticia and Weiss at my side. If I was really going to die, at least I was going to die with a bunch of good people. I put my hand on Leticia's shoulder to let her knew I understood how she must feel as I watched the passing traffic, microphone concealed in my jacket, gun loaded in its holster.

          All I had to do was put two tranquilizer darts from the Ehrlich into Nina, with four agents protecting me and another three in the car. I still didn't like the odds. But as Jack told me, you do what you can do until you can't do it anymore.

_*Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies_

_So I don't know what's real and what's not_

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head_

_So I can't trust myself anymore_

_I'm dying again*_

The plan was this: I was to make the meeting while my strike team were to take up positions. I was then supposed to tranquilize Nina/Sarah as soon as Oliver, Vaughan, Michael and Tony had the situation under control. She would then be handcuffed, restrained and driven to CIB, where we would begin our interrogation. I could be there the next three days. It made my skin crawl. Only three days, which I assumed could never be enough. I'd make it enough. I had to.

          A devout atheist, I decided to pray nonetheless.

_*I'm going under_

_Drowning in you_

_I'm falling forever_

_Got to break through_

_I'm going under*_

Our sedan pulled up round the corner, where it had parked the first time. Michael, Tony, Leticia and I got out of the car. Vaughan Rice, who I was promptly introduced to, and Oliver were waiting right there. After a quick briefing, Michael and his team went one way and Leticia and I went the other.

          "This is going to get crazy," I said, hoping I remembered all I had been taught. I saw Nina/Sarah's car down the block and knew she was there. This was really happening to us. I checked my audio, got a confirmation from Lex, and checked my gun. I knew they'd be getting all this at CTU.

          Sure enough, at CTU, Jack, Mason and Vaughn were huddled around the console, listening only to the silence of my quick breathing and probably crossing their fingers for us all. I could only imagine what Jack, who had treated me both as an equal and as a second daughter, must be thinking. 

          "Hell of an agent we've got, Jack," Mason told him, but Jack wasn't really listening.

_*So go on and scream_

_Scream at me I'm so far away_

_I won't be broken again_

_I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under*_

Round the corner, Michael held his gun level, surprisingly nervous. He would probably be the first one on the scene. Tony, Oliver and Vaughan all held their positions as they watched me and Leticia cross the street and enter the restaurant's outside portico, making our way over to the appropriate table.

          The two of us shook hands with our killer and sat down. No turning back now. "Do you have anything?" Nina/Sarah asked me. "I hadn't expected we'd see each other again so soon."

          "I didn't either, honestly," I said, playing it cool and even, "but things are moving so fast…"

          "I understand."

          I let the machine in me take over. "I'm faster," I said tonelessly, shoving my chair back and popping two of the Ehrlich's tranquilizers in her in a heartbeat. She looked shocked, then purely furious, and slumped backward into her chair. I heard people screaming. I heard Tony, Oliver, Michael and Vaughan advancing. Leticia held her weapon to cover me as I advanced on Nina, intending to handcuff her. With her last consciousness, she grabbed me by the throat. I struggled to stay conscious, hold my weapon, and desperately call for help. I couldn't get out a sound.

          Then they were there, Michael forcibly pulling me back from Nina so hard that she lost her grip and I stumbled backward. He took care of the restraining as everyone else maintained their weapons holds. Michael looked at me and demanded my tazer; I gave it to him and watched him shock Nina out cold definitely. Kind of disgusted by the whole affair, I let them take her to the second car, which would now be the lead vehicle, and helped Leticia replace the chairs.

          Little did I realize that I was standing there in a bulletproof vest holding a gun and Professor Berghof was staring right at the both of us. Unlike the many, many times before, he definitely knew who I was now. "I can't explain," I insisted, and took off for the car without another look back. Maybe he'd think it was all a hallucination, if he was lucky.

          I'd never been lucky, only good.

          As we tracked the second car on its way toward CIB, while I was still gasping for air, I figured that I must really have some D.B. Sweeney-esque strange luck, because it sure wasn't doing anything but putting me and those I loved in harm's way. And this wasn't over yet. I wasn't finished with her yet.


	11. Lack of Angels

Secure Location, CIB 

**London, England**

          As long as I had ever wanted to do anything with law enforcement, I understood and relished the vital importance of the psychological aspect of crimefighting, from interrogations to how to get a jury to respond to you to how to play the field as if you've got more than you have to get what you don't have, especially the interrogations. My heroes growing up had been master television interrogators like Frank Pembleton, Mike Logan, John Doggett, Dana Scully, and Elliot Stabler, and I'd learned from them. Growing up, I got into the real thing, and I'd learned from real interrogators like George Mason, Jack Bauer, and Jackson Haisley. I'd sat in on a number of interrogations, tested my waters, but I'd never run my own room, not until today.

          Outside of where I'd locked myself in things were on the move. Nina had been successfully transported and hooked up to an electroshock machine, the same thing they use in hospitals with the defibrillator paddles, and she was still out cold from the tazer and the two tranquilizer darts I'd gotten off. Tony was also getting ready to assist me in the room and I imagined his process was the same as mine. Lex and Weiss were hooking up the technical aspects, including making sure we had crystal clear videotape, audiotape and a direct line to CTU Los Angeles. The others were making ready to crash Nina's party when it came to that. I've never crashed an actual party in my life, never mind a terrorist get-together.

          I turned off the Paul Oakenfold and unlocked the door. I'd ditched the jacket, the bulletproof vest, and all of my weapons, and I had my sleeves rolled up, so of course you could see the nasty bruises I had taken in the melee at the restaurant. Then again, I imagined you could still see where she'd tried to choke me to death. Striding purposefully over to Lex, I met Tony, and the both of us were wired up with hidden microphones and micro-transmitters he'd learned how to build at Langley. Our computer genius having done his part, my friend and I were now left to be doing ours.

          "How far can I go?" I asked Tony as we walked toward the interrogation room door, knowing all eyes were on us.

          "As far as it takes."

          I probably should have expected that answer. The two of us opened the door to the room, standing across from this woman we had grown to hate so much, waiting for her to come to after we'd brutalized her the first time. 

          There's something I probably should mention now. Inside of me is a deep reserve of passion, intensity and energy that has to go somewhere. And as my life collapsed, it went into an increasingly darker place. I found myself to be capable of acts of violence, hatred and pain – such as shooting Nina cold-bloodedly in public – that I never would have been capable of before. Things I would condemn I could now execute without remorse. I had fought that side of me for a long time, but it was always right there with me. And like Angel becoming Angelus, I didn't really have a choice. Something gave way in me right then, and I did some horrible things, but I offer no apologies, except to maybe my friends that had to watch it happen.

          "Get those warmed up," I said to Tony of the defibrillator paddles. "I want them on-line."

          "She's coming to," he added needlessly as he walked over to get the machine running.

          I nodded, watching Nina's eyes open slowly. Deliberately, I walked over and clamped my hand down on her throat, just as she had done to me. Her eyes went wide then, and she started choking. I let her choke for a few more seconds before I pulled back and stood there. "Now you know how it feels." Still she didn't register any recognition. "You don't even remember me," I said, realizing it then. "I'm sure you will, Nina." That was it at last: a flare behind her eyes – she'd been made.

          "What do you want?" she said, still trying for breath, the statement weak.

          "A confession that you killed Ryan Chappelle. The location of the Department of Defense key files. And you calling off your terrorist strike team from the Counterterrorism Center." At her look, I just nodded. "We know about it all, Nina. Chappelle I could care less about, you did us a favor, and you know it. But I can't let you go any further with the rest of it. So: where are the key files, Nina?"

          She didn't say anything, so I nodded to Tony and let him shock her right in the heart. 

*_The pain inside, my love denied_

_Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride_

_Everything I need it lies in you*_

          "Ryan Chappelle thought he was giving the key files to somebody at the CC for something on the good. He probably dealt with you. As soon as you got them, you had him killed. You're going to take out the CC then you will use the key files to attack counter-terrorism and defense installations in America. Where are the key files?"

          "What's he doing here?"

          "Where are the key files, Nina?" Still no answer, so I upped the voltage. Tony knew just what to do. I didn't realize that outside, Michael, Lex and Weiss were cringing at the violence I allowed, no, instigated. They did not expect anything of the sort from me, and yet, there it was. 

_*Because deep inside I'm broken_

_You see the way I live_

_I know your heart is broken_

_When I turn away_

_I need to be broken  
Take the pain away*_

I threw the chair I was standing next to and it barely missed her head. That was a good bit of theatrics I'd learned from Baltimore's elite homicide detectives. "I killed Chappelle," she said, "and you know what, I don't care." I nodded again. "I don't care either. Where are the key files?"

          "You should know I'm not just going to say it."

          "You should know I won't give up until you do or I kill you." Tony was staring at me now, but I continued. "You trained me, Nina, when I came to CTU. I trusted you like everyone else. But unlike everyone else, I'll do what I have to do to protect everyone else. You're of no consequence to me."

          That's when she got it. "Brittany?"

          "Yes," I said. "Look at what you've created."

_*I question why you chose to die_

_When you knew your truth I would deny_

_But I fail time after time_

_Daily in my sin I take your life*_

I let this go on for another two hours, allowing Tony to torture her at his own free will. I had a feeling that while part of him relished that kind of control, he had locked himself down emotionally, just as I had, and he was just doing what he had to do, which was all I was doing. Or at least all I had started out to do.

          Finally, she broke and told us where the key files were located – the Counterterrorism Center vault, linked to a hydra. As soon as they were extracted, the hydra would crash the systems and Nina's team would take out the entire building in a matter of minutes. She had had them all along. My initial lie had been, in fact, a truth. I told Tony to stand down and walked outside. My gun was in my holster, inside of my jacket, and I went for it.

          Everyone backed away, not knowing who I was anymore. "She'll kill her," Michael said, wanting desperately to be wrong.

_*All the hate deep inside_

_All these things I hide_

_Away from you again_

_My heart is cold and I believe_

_Nothing's gonna change_

_Until I'm broken*_

I raised the Ehrlich, switched over to standard bullets, and aimed squarely at Nina. 

          "What are you doing?" Tony was saying, but I wasn't listening.

          I saw the fear of God in her eyes. Jack was right: all she needed was someone to be afraid of. Well, I'd never scared anyone in my life, but I guessed it wasn't too late to start now.

          In a split second, I dropped my aim and shot her square in the arm. She realized she wasn't going to die, but maybe next time she wouldn't be so lucky. "Get her out of here," I said to Tony, "that's just a flesh wound. I don't have the patience for another." I was right – the bullet had gone through, and with some minor surgery on the part of CIB's Dr. March, she'd be fine. But it had done what it had been meant to do.

          Still holding the gun, I walked out of the interrogation room, unable to look anyone in the eye. "It's over," I said, my voice quiet. "I sacrificed myself for the greater good. I did … what I had to do."

          "We know," Michael said. Lex was the first to come to my defense. "It'll be okay," he tried to console me.

          "I can't believe myself," I said, "but we've got a job to do, so let's do it."


	12. Twice Forgiven

The Hotel George 

**London, England**

          I was ready to collapse and beg forgiveness from the moment I unlocked the door. Lex had dropped me off when he had dropped off some unnecessary equipment. Everyone would be working on a plan to save the key files and not blow up the Counterterrorism Center. I had requested a brief leave of absence. No one had questioned it, not after what they'd seen me do. Dropping all of my stuff on the table, I headed straight for the bathroom. Nina's blood was on my shirt and down my arm, and I had to get it off, changing into my crime scene investigation shirt. Unknowingly, it was the same shirt I'd worn when I'd met Jack.

          I sat down hard on the floor, resting my head against the wall with my elbows on my knees and my fingers tightly interlocked. I forced deep breaths out of lungs that didn't want to breathe. I just wanted to die. This wasn't me, this inhuman government machine of death and deception. How had I gone so far? This was never what I wanted. What had I become? The first couple sobs wracked me, and I just sat there alone, crying not for the people that had died or would die if I failed, but just for myself, lost in the going.

          There was a knock on the door about twenty minutes later, and I fully intended to ignore it, but decided I didn't want something else to run from, not now. Unsteadily, I managed to get to my feet and unlock the door, eyes bloodshot and looking like hell, to look Michael Colefield in the eyes. His were sympathetic. "I heard you came back," he said, his voice quiet. "I didn't want you to be alone." I just turned away to wipe tears from my eyes as he stepped in and shut the door behind himself. I went back to crying again, silently this time, as I sat down hard on the bed and wondered if I should've shot myself instead.

_*Boy, know your place_

_Lies do not become us_

_The truth is more attractive_

_Than a slick and polished mask*_

          Little did I know he hurt just as much as I did. He folded his jacket over a chair and stood there watching me for a moment before he was just instanteously there, sitting next to me, watching over me. He didn't owe me anything, and I didn't know what he saw in me, but I was in no position to ask.

          "I know this hurts," he said.

          "I want to die," I said.

          "No, you don't," he replied.

          I turned my head and looked at him and I could see myself in his eyes.

_*Girl, dig down deep_

_I know there's more between us_

_There's bound to be a question_

_You're just dying for me to ask*_

"I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore," I said, voice shaky.

          Michael took the hand that had been resting on my shoulder, and took both my hands in his own. His grip was warm, especially so since I felt so cold inside. "I felt the exact same way for a very long time after it happened to me. You spend your waking days trying to figure out what you did to deserve it and what you can do to make it right, but there aren't any answers."

          "What do you do?"

          "You just find something – or someone – to believe in again." He paused. "Can you trust me?"

_*If you can be honest_

_I can be too_

_If you take the first step_

_I'll follow you through_

_But no one wants to bleed_

_No one wants to hide_

_No one wants to hurt alone inside*_

I nodded, wiping more water from my eyes. "I've always trusted you, Michael."

          "Then trust me when I say eventually it will be all right." He exhaled. "I still hurt from killing him and I always will. I never had anyone to open up to about it, not Vaughan, not Angie. I have this chance now, and that's all that matters. I want to be here for you, right now. I want you to know I understand what's happening to you."

          "I know."

          "And I'm right here."

          "I know."

_*Child, don't close your eyes_

_The truth contains much beauty_

_And though it scars your soul_

_It can heal the wounds it makes_

_You've been deceived to think_

_That pain is to be dreaded_

_And you've got nothing left_

_It'll give more than it takes*_

He put his arms around me then and let me cry into his shoulder, holding me there in his warm and tight embrace, letting me know I was not alone in the depths of self-torture and suffering that I was looking into now. Only then did I allow myself to admit that there might ever be reparation for my sins. I knew when the tears stopped, the questions would start for me, and they would be hard and brutal. But right that moment I thought things might be okay.

          When we pulled back I was able to regain control of myself again. I looked into his eyes and he looked back at me and in our mutual experience there was some sort of balance point. Yet he never let go of my hand. And I, for his sake rather than mine, tried desperately to believe.

_*If you can't find a peace_

_I'll help find it for you_

_I don't know how_

_But one thing that's sure_

_Is I won't leave you now*_

"You're a special person, Brittany," he said to me after a moment. "Don't lose yourself now."

          "I'll try," I said, "But Michael…"

          "What?"

          "Twice now, you've saved me, and it means the world to me."

          He smiled thinly. "You had to help me."

          I was able to smile then, and I said, "Yeah, but you did all the heavy lifting."

          He laughed, and I smirked at my usual smart-ass behavior, and things felt a little easier then. As he kissed me, then, I thought I might save my soul just yet. 

          "I've a few things I need to take care of," I said, "you don't have to stay."

          "I'm not going anywhere. I said I'd bring you back with me." He smirked just a little. "What things?"

          "Some paperwork. Some morale boosting," I replied, "but mostly, getting back in the game."

          Michael just stood to help me and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "That's a good answer."


	13. Out Of Black

Conference Room, CIB 

**London, England**

          "This is like finding a needle in a haystack," Weiss bemoaned. Down the table, Lex arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, a needle in a haystack with a chain link fence and a security system."

          "Where's Nina?" I asked. "In the infirmary," Oliver informed me, "under the care of Dr. March and with Agent Rice standing guard." Satisfied with this answer, for I didn't have anyone to spare anyway, I reached across a table covered with blueprints, intel and coffee cups and grabbed the conference phone. Needless to say I was surprised when someone other than Jack or Mason, or for that matter, anyone I knew, took my call.

          "Who the hell are you?" I said, resting my elbows on the table. I knew everybody that worked at CTU, because there weren't that many of us, and I didn't recognize the voice at all. 

          "Agent Vaughn. Agent Bauer stepped out for a moment."

          Then it hit me, straight from Leticia's file: her other handler was Michael Vaughn. "Right. My apologies. This is Agent Frederick calling in, I need to speak directly with Agent Bauer."

          "I'll find him. What's going on out there?"

          "Roughly, we have twenty-four hours to remove the key files from a vault where they are connected to a hydra that will collapse the Counterterrorism Center as soon as the key files are accessed."

          Pause. "Everyone's still alive, right?"

          "Oh, yeah." I rolled my eyes and caught Oliver giving me one of his 'what in the name of God do you think you're doing' looks. Finally, Jack was on the phone. "What's up over there?"

          "We captured and interrogated Nina…"

          "You _what_?"

          "Captured and interrogated her … and she revealed the key files are in the CC vault. She's had them all along. They're linked to a hydra that will eat the CC systems if we try to move the key files. So she would escape with the files and take out the building, quite literally. We're in planning now."

          "Any ideas?"

          "Not yet, we just got started. And Jack?"

          "Yeah."

          "Is it okay if I shot Nina?"

          "You _shot_ Nina?"

          "It's a long story, Jack. What about that backup?"

          "Division's put a freeze on it. Mason's trying, but nothing so far. You may have to do without." 

          "All right. We'll find a way. That's what I'm good at, after all."

          "True." He paused. "You got her."

          "No, _we_ got her." I stressed the difference. "As soon as she stabilizes, CIB is sending her back immediately. You'll want to make arrangements. I've given them your contact information. Anyway, I need to go, but Jack, just know we're doing all we can, all right?"

          "Never doubted it."

          I laughed softly to myself, then hung up the phone. Next to me, Oliver was standing, silently presiding over everything, and he finally looked in my direction again, much less annoyed – but then I never could tell. "New standing orders?" he said tonelessly, and I shook my head. "Same ones I've always had. Any way, all the way. Lex, give me what you've got on breaking hydras and tell me it's good."

          "Good might be an overstatement," he said, and I sighed. "Hydras are the most complex viral programs. They've got layers upon layers. Depending on the length of the trigger, we could all still be in the building when it blacks out, that's how long they could take to crack. Even for me," he said at my glance. "I can try to develop a counterprogram, like a reverse hydra, but without knowing what specifically I'm dealing with, it could be way too general."

          "Do it anyway. Michael, what about evacuating the building, minimizing potential loss?"

          "There might be some minimal difficulty. I think they're still reeling from the internal security breach. But I'll phone over right away. When do you want them?"

          "As soon as we're done here. Say another two hours, give them some time. As for that, I want estimates on how much time we can give ourselves once we get in there. Weiss, I'm putting you in charge of supplies and firepower. Work with Oliver, he knows the place." I ignored how severely creeped out Weiss looked at that suggestion. "Now, Leticia and I are going to take a look at the blueprints and see what we can do. I want a status report in one hour, we go in two."

          As everyone began to scramble on their assignments, I grabbed the CC blueprints from my end of the table and headed in Leticia's direction. For a moment, I thought I was back in class. Then I shuddered. I don't know if it was the CIA job ahead of me or the thought of Professor Berghof's class, or the fact that Professor Berghof had seen me wielding a gun and committing assault and kidnapping. I chose secret answer E, all of the above.

**Counterterrorism Center**

**London, England**

**Two Hours Later**

_*So much of what you say is true_

_I'll never find someone quite like you again…*_

It was disconcerting, this stolid building I had come to see as a pillar of British counterterrorism strength, completely empty and void as we pulled up in our two vehicles. I didn't think about it much, just slammed my door behind me and started for the door, wired, armed and feeling like I was staking my life on what was about to happen next. Our strike teams split up, and as we breezed through the front door, Leticia and I headed straight for the situation room.

          "What are we looking for?" she asked me.

          "Damned if I know," I said. "Anything that gets us out of here."

          "Okay," she said, but it lacked her usual confidence.

          I went over the battle plan in my head: Weiss and Lex were to go straight for the vault. Leticia and I were to head for the situation room, the central nervous system of the CC. Tony and Michael were on their way to the sub-basement control room, for whatever good that would do. And Oliver was en route to the main operations floor. We all had our pieces of the puzzle. We all had our own ways now. Time to walk alone.

          We stepped out of the elevator and I scanned my security pass from the previous visit into the situation room keypad. The locks gave way, and on instinct I shouldered open the door to an empty place. Leticia stepped inside, and I followed, setting my sights on what had to be an administrator's panel at the head of the massive oak table. At least, that's the way it was supposed to work.

          Back at CIB, Lex had trained all of us in operating said panels in case they ended up being encrypted, codelocked, or otherwise secured. It was now time to see if we'd been paying attention. Leticia and I went to work.

_*The razors and the dying roses plead_

_I don't leave you alone with any gods_

_But God, God knows I'm not at home*_

Data scrolled past my eyes at an interminable rate as I went through menu after menu, glad I'd practiced my speed operating skills to the tune of Evanescence many, many times at work. I needed to know anything there was about that vault, who had accessed it. We had accepted that we wouldn't be able to capture Nina's cohorts, but maybe I could still figure out who they were…

          "Anything?" I asked her, still watching data fly past my vision.

          "Nothing yet."

          "Keep trying. I know you can do it," I replied, hoping the answer lied within.

          Finally I found it: a menu for the vault. Stopping quickly, I stared at the menu and knew I had to make a really quick decision here. Of course, not knowing what any of the symbols meant was going to be a slight problem. Acting on my first instinct, I punched one of the on-screen buttons. Now or never. The panel bleeped at me, and I smiled at Leticia. "I think we've got it."

_*I, I looked into your eyes and saw_

_That does not exist_

_I looked into your eyes and saw_

_I wish I was you*_

I immediately plugged a data device into the external port and started downloading access records. Obviously we didn't have time to go through them all now. "Make sure you get hers," I said to Leticia, who was already on it. I'll tell you, that woman knows what to do in a crisis situation. I was just kind of going on the voices of my better angels. Jack deserves half the credit on that merit alone.

          "How is it?" a voice said in my ear, and I nearly jumped.

          "Damn it, Michael!" I blurted. "It's fine, but we're supposed to be dark, you know that."

          "I know … I just needed to _know_," he said, and that moment I understood.

          Putting a hand to my earpiece, I said, "I know. Just talk to me when we get out of here."

          In the resulting silence as I returned to controlled chaos, I almost found that I missed his voice.

_*I'll never find someone quite as touched as you_

_I'll never love someone quite the way that I love you*_

Lex's invocation of the name of our savior was full of fury and desperation as it burst into our earpieces. 

          "Lex, what's going on?" I yelled instinctively, moving away from the panel toward the door. "What's happening?"

          Then, as I tried the door handle, I knew. The situation room had locked itself from the outside. Leticia and I looked at each other and realized we could be the last thing we saw. Lex had tripped the hydra, and one by one, the systems were coming down.


	14. Harsh Light

Counterterrorism Center 

**London, England**

          "It's over."

          "It is _not_ over!" The volume and ferocity of that statement coming out of me surprised the hell out of me, but it just was part of me. "You'd better get those key files out of there now, then start working on backing up the building. I want everybody diverted to the vault, now!"

          "What about you?"

          "It's not about me," I said, shaking my head. "Acceptable loss…"

          "Unacceptable…" Michael started, but I cut him off. "Get down there while we still have a chance!"

          At this point, I was pacing the room, and Leticia had smartly gone and started downloading any files she could get her hands on. In the worst case scenario, what we could get away with now might be all that remained of the Counterterrorism Center. As I continued to rattle off any orders that came to mind, I went back to my panel and began doing the same thing. I just listened to them, the sound of these people trying to be heroes, trying to live for something that mattered, and somehow it shook me to my core.

_*Lend me your fire so I can burn  
Save all my ashes for my return_

_Not with a scream but with a sigh_

_Keep your head down low and your hands  
Held high*_

It was killing Jack to stay silent. Back home, he, Mason and Vaughn were now only three of a complete huddle of people who had come to hang on this operation. He knew the rule about radio silence since I'd just said it to Michael, but he wanted to help me any way he could. Yet, if he did, and someone was listening, he could compromise all I had worked for. For better or for worse, for death or for life, I had to stand on my own.

          Both our portable devices were still downloading, and in the chaos of comm noise I looked over at Leticia. "In case I never get to say this," I said, "you're the best friend I could have asked for, and all this aside, thank you for standing by me. For everything you've done."

_*You've got to admit it's over_

_I've got to admit it's over now_

_You've got to admit it's over_

_And I've got to admit it's over*_

In the vault, the men I'd come to consider 'my team' were doing their best. Lex, Weiss and Oliver were all working the technology, while Tony and Michael just had to find some sort of emergency stop, if such a thing existed. They knew that with every passing second more data was just fading away, and that was absolutely unacceptable to all of us. If that happened, Nina won, no matter where she was or what state she was currently in.

          Oliver's glance then shot up at Tony and Michael. "We've got a security violation. Heading our direction."

          "We've got it under control," Tony said, as he and Michael drew their weapons. He knew what that meant. Nina's team had come for their files. Well, he had some bad news for them. 

_*You've got to admit it's over_

_I've got to admit it's over now_

_You've got to admit it's over_

_And I've got to admit it's over*_

Tony and Michael exited the vault's main chamber and followed Oliver's directions as they navigated the sub-basement's corridors. It took them about a minute and a half to exchange gunfire. Needless to say, they knew we needed somebody alive. However, defending their lives and ours was also a pretty strong motivation.

          Oliver, Lex and Weiss kept working, but the desperation in Lex and Weiss's eyes was clear. They were running out of time and options. Oliver, as usual, showed no emotion at all. Maybe it was easier for him to stand what would admittedly be a hard defeat if he didn't emotionally invest in the fight like the rest of us had.

          In the sit room, I sat down hard on the floor. There's no worse feeling than knowing the rest of your life is happening and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I closed my eyes and hoped that in my seventeen years I had earned some mercy and some justice from on high.

          "Hey," Leticia said, "At least you finally got to play with the cool stuff."

          I laughed slightly. "Yeah," I said. "At least I did something, right?" But I was having a hard time convincing myself. I always have a hard time when it matters.

_*The war is over_

_The boys are over_

_The game is over_

_The fame is over*_

There had been nothing over the communications line for quite some time. At CTU, everyone was starting to give under the pressure. Jack hadn't slept in a day, but in his eyes he feared for my safety and the safety of my entire team. He'd asked me to take this operation, to handle Nina and Chappelle's murder, when he could have given it to anyone. He saw something in me, and he hoped he didn't burn it out before its time.

          "What chance do they have?" he asked Mason suddenly.

          Mason shook his head. "I don't know."

          Tony and Michael came bursting back into the vault's main chamber, without anyone in custody. They hadn't managed to get anyone alive, as they said, and Lex's face fell. He didn't know what else to do. "There's a stop code," Tony said suddenly, and began feeding a sequence of commands to Oliver as he holstered his weapon. He wouldn't need it anymore. 

          "Give me the code key," Oliver said. "In half a minute, it eats the key files."

_*The game is over_

_The deal is over_

_The game is over, underground_

_The chase is over_

_The scream is over_

_The dream is over*_

          My knuckles were white as I begged the silence to end and tell me anything worth saying. Lex's voice was the first to come across, sober and capable. "Get them out of there." 

          Leticia and I stared at each other, still not knowing if we were to be defined by success or failure. Then my partner spoke again: "Our plane stops in D.C. I'll personally hand these files to Jackson Haisley, they'll be replaced by the morning."

          I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. We had actually done it. The good guys had won. Lex went on to say he would start to back up what data had been lost, and Tony would phone the CC director, but I wasn't listening to that. It hit me that I had finally, truthfully, done something maybe not to save the world, but at least to save my part of it. I hauled myself to my feet, taking my best friend with me, feeling my pulse slow down from the edge of breakdown.

          Moments later the locks unlocked themselves as the system that controlled them came back online. About a minute after that, the door swung open, and I'll tell you, I've never been happier to see Tony in my life. Not to mention the look on Michael's face. And I'd never been prouder to switch frequencies, tap over to CTU and say, "Heads up – mission successful."

          Over the cheers I could hear on the other end, Jack's voice came through loud and clear. "Congratulations, Brittany. Come on home and get that promotion you just earned." 

          A small smile crept across my face. "Yes, sir." Then I looked at Leticia and I thought everything would be all right as I said, "Hell of a way to go out, isn't it?"

**Heathrow International Airport**

**London, England**

The Next Evening 

            Two cars pulled up in the carpark, and seven people emerged. Five of us were being given a hero's escort back home. Standing in the parking lot shouldering my carryon bag, I couldn't believe that everything came down to this. Planes streaked past in the sky, and I'd be on one of them, and that'd be the end of it, or so it goes. 

          I smiled to myself nonetheless. It had been a good go. Then I started walking.

_*While a dying world redefines_

_The reasons we strive to exist_

_We feign control, but we're bound to learn  
The meaning of moments like this*_

As we crossed the parking lot toward the international terminal, I looked across at my partner. Lex looked tired, worn out, but in good spirits – you could see the sleep-deprivation lines under his eyes, but he had that perpetual smirk on his face. We made eye contact as a breeze slipped between us.

          "What do you think?" I said, able to see my breath in the London cold.

          "What do I think?" he echoed me. "I think we came, we saw, and we won." He smiled, knowing me too well. "Stop asking."

          I smirked. "All right."

_*__'Cause in the peaceful lull, the quiet spell  
Seduced by the promise of bliss  
We soon forget that nothing's happened yet  
We're living for moments like this*_

As we stepped from the cold and quiet of outside to the artificial warmth and the noise of Heathrow's international terminal, I took a moment to survey these people who had come so far with me in these passing few days. There was Tony with a sense of relief in his eyes, but still the strongest soldier I'd ever known. Weiss was playing with his yo-yo absently and he looked happy to be going home. My gaze slid last to Leticia, my best friend and now my not-quite-so-secret-anymore comrade in arms. We shared a private little smile. Oliver was Oliver, nothing to be said about that, and there was Michael, but I couldn't look at him, not yet._  
  
*When the clouds catch fire  
And the oceans pitch  
We'll wait for the moments like this*_

We made it to our gate without that much trouble, considering how much trouble we could've been in if we weren't government agents and we were carrying as much gear and weaponry as we had on our persons. Slinging down our luggage, we stretched our muscles on London soil one last time and stood there trying to figure out what you say at the end of a situation like this.

Lex paused. "I am going to go home and get some serious sleep."

Leticia nodded. "Right there with you … well, obviously not, but you know."

Tony and I looked at each other. "We'll file the report on the plane," he said, and I exhaled. "Yeah, then I'm going to watch _Enigma_ another two and a half times."

Lex smirked. "Sounds like you."

"You're all insane," Weiss said, still preoccupied with his yo-yo.

"Maybe so," Lex replied, "but we made it this far, right?"_  
  
*It's in our power  
To face the storm with all its fury  
Headin' madness, the flash and thunder   
Roll behind us with a longing  
Headin' sadness, the clouds will break*_

As everyone else began the healing and returning process, I finally turned to Oliver and Michael.

I didn't exactly know what to say to Oliver Sampson. He was a master spy and antihero, all right, and a good man. Like I said, he was on par with the skills of Nina, and if they were to brawl, I'd still take Oliver over Nina any day. He was tough, too, impenetrable and more than a little coldly efficient, but I still owed him for his assistance. I probably owed him at least a portion of my life. I finally just extended my hand. "Thank you for everything," I said. "It made a hell of a lot of difference out there."

Oliver's handshake was firm. "Probably less than you think it did," he replied. "Try not to get into too much trouble."

"Yes, sir." 

Michael Colefield was, of course, a different story. I looked at him and I felt an emotion I couldn't quantify. Without his empathy and assistance, I probably would've collapsed as team leader and field agent somewhere after the CC shooting and Tony would've had to pick up the team and handle the job. Michael made me get through it, and though I knew there were and would always be scars, sharing them with someone, especially a man like him, made it easier. We smiled thinly at each other.

"Get home safely, all right?" he said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll do my best," I said. "Michael, you don't know what you've done for me."

"I don't need to know," he said. 

We embraced one last time, and he kissed me on the cheek, a bittersweet kiss goodbye. But we stayed like that for a few moments more, knowing we'd found something in each other we'd both sorely needed to see. I think I would've stayed a few moments longer if Leticia hadn't pointed out to me that security officers had taken Professor Berghof into custody. 

Michael and I spun round, his arm still around my shoulders, and I laughed on instinct. Just when you think you've seen it all, life has a way of surprising you._  
  
*Hold me, whisper gently  
This is what we're made for  
How we learn who we are  
It defines us, ever reminding us  
That life never is  
More precious than this*_

"Well, we'll leave you to it, then," Michael said, taking this as his and Oliver's cue to back out gracefully.

I looked at him one moment more. "All right," I said, more than a little sadly.

I watched them as they disappeared, looking disjointed, two very different men no longer having a mutual cause. I have to give Michael credit. He only looked back at me once. Any more and I think we would have both dissolved. But I'd like to think he left me with the strength to carry on.

Meanwhile, the police were still questioning Professor Berghof and I suppressed another round of adolescent laughter. Leticia came over to stand beside me and watch from across the building. "Hey," she told me, "at least you got to stalk Jack Davenport."

My thoughts went to the _Coupling_ taping I'd specifically stayed the extra day to catch. "I did not stalk Jack Davenport," I said, "I got to meet Jack Davenport. There's a difference."

"Yeah, and I'm surprised you could fit all that stuff in your suitcase. All the audiobooks he read that you bought, the soundtrack to _This Life_, I think you bought the complete Jack Davenport collection."

I nodded. "I didn't fit it all. Some of it's in your suitcase."

She stared at me, then we started laughing all over again. It felt really, really good to feel that way. And I felt like I could do anything. I felt that it was time to go home and do what I now knew I was capable of. I looked from Lex to Tony to Weiss to Leticia and made the world a promise to fight for it. _  
  
*So hold me, whisper gently   
That there's nothing to fear  
You'll always be near  
To remind me, stand behind me  
Although life can be rough  
We can never give up*_

The plane boarded two hours later. As soon as we dropped into our seats, Leticia gave me a look I think she'd been wanting to give me for the entire duration of our 'vacation' in England.

          "So what happened with you and Michael?"

          I arched an eyebrow, buckling up. "Nothing happened. What do you think happened?"

"You were in love with him!" she protested.

          "I wasn't … so what if I was?"

          Now she smirked. "Hey, I think he liked you too."

          "You really think so?"

          "Yeah." 

          Pause. 

          "Hey, there was one thing I'm wondering about," I told her, unable to hide a smirk of my own.

          "What?"

          "You think this mission will pay for that apartment we wanted?"

          She laughed. "You never know."

          "That's right," I said, "you never do."


	15. Coda: Remember This

Counter Terrorist Unit 

**Los Angeles, California**

**Two Days Later**

          "The truth is that things aren't as easy as they've been made out to be." I sat straight-backed in the conference room, delivering my final debriefing on the London mission to Jack with Mason lurking in the corner. "You sent an untested agent to captain a field team on the most dangerous of missions, the stakes were high and frequently unpredictable, and the outcome is half luck and half skill at that." I knew he was watching me interestingly. "But we did what we had to do."

          "I know," Jack said. "It's all in your report. The one you and Tony co-authored, that you both signed and verified, remember?"

          I nodded. "Not everything's in the report, Jack."

          Then I began to fill in the blanks, thinking back as if it were yesterday – because it was that close:

****

_*I could say that's the way it goes_

_And I could pretend and you won't know_

_That I was lying*_

          "… for us, it's the unknown."

          I was supposed to be reading my new Division manual, but I laughed out loud nonetheless. Jack Davenport just has this way of delivering perfectly. Since I'd met him I'd only realized more how on target it was. 

          There was a knock at the door. I checked my watch. 2:08 A.M. I'd only been in the new Agency bankrolled apartment a day now, so I was trying to keep weird things from happening. Making sure Leticia hadn't been disturbed, I went to answer the door and found Weiss standing there.

          "Any reason why you're here at 2 A.M.?" I inquired.

          "You didn't call me? About a spider?" he asked me.

          "Um, no."

          "Okay." He exhaled. "Why would I have a dream that you phoned about a spider?"

          "Wouldn't know."

          We exchanged a 'whatever' glance, then he said, "While I'm here … there's this Agency thing next week, and I need a date …"

          "…And you want me to ask Leticia for you."

          "Actually, she has a date. She's going with Vaughn. I wanted to know if you'd go with me."

          I hesitated, thinking I was on an acid trip. "Does this involve formal wear and finger food?"

          "No."

          "Okay, then I'm in." I smiled. "Go home and get your head checked."

          I shut the door, then looked at my television screen where Jack was still going on about remotes and spare batteries and whatever. We shared a smile, or I pretended we did. "You're right, Jack,"  I said, "the unknown can be a very crazy place."

****

_*Not a word was said_

_And I saw you walk across the road  
For maybe the last time, I don't know*_

Leticia and I were still kind of in awe of the apartment. No, once our desire had been known, Jack and the team wouldn't settle for just some tiny place in San Marcos. They had to do it right, and right they had done. We sat on the couch my mother had given me eating dinner and watching some movie with Will Patton in it, don't ask me which one.

          "How are you holding up?" she asked me, poking at once-frozen lasagna.

          "I'm all right," I said, able now to say this confidently. "It was hard, but … it's okay now."

          Pause.

          "Are you staying on?" I asked her. "With the Agency?"

          "Are you staying with CTU?"

          "Yeah." I exhaled. "I'm not ready, but I will be."

          "Then so am I." As I turned to look at the clock, she was looking at me. "Where'd you get that bruise?"

          I looked. "Probably London," I said, then excused myself to check it out in the bathroom light. She was right. There was a decent bruise on my shoulder. And it was from London. But I remembered from where. It wasn't from Nina, not as she and everyone else would've probably supposed. Michael had accidentally given it to me. He'd hauled me off so hard that I had hit a table, and now this. 

          Standing there looking myself in the mirror, I closed my eyes for a moment and let the emotions pass through me.

_*Feeling humble_

_I'll walk away and you won't know_

_That I'll be crying*_

****

_*'Cause I can't stop loving you_

_No, I can't stop loving you_

_No, I won't stop loving you_

_Why should I?*_

Lex and I sat back at our workstations again, taking care of business that had accrued for us while we were gone. Okay, he was watching me replace the one photo of Jack Davenport with the autographed picture of me and Jack Davenport that Leticia had taken at the _Coupling_ taping. There were others of me and the other members of the cast, like somewhere there was one with me, Leticia, Jack and Sarah Alexander, but as you know, this was the one that mattered.

          "Really worth it, huh?" he joked.

          "Oh, yeah." I swiveled in my chair, grinning. "You bet it was."

          "Speaking of guys named Jack, so what did you tell Jack in your report?" he asked me, switching gears abruptly. "You said you were going to like, make some recommendations, didn't you? On the plane, I mean."

          I nodded. "I recommended that I undergo full Agency training before being considered for more missions. I'm asking to see an anger management counselor, I know we've got one. I'm also asking for a different schedule. I'm thinking Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I'll take on full shifts. Ten in the morning to say, seven at night. Something like that."

          "So I have to put up with you more?" he quipped, but he was smirking. "It'll be good to have you around."

          "Glad to hear you think that way."

          He just laughed. "You want to go get some coffee?"

          The two of us got up and headed for the break room. He held open the break room door for me, saying, "You know I'll always be here, right?" As partners go, there's nobody else in CTU I'd want at my side on a daily basis than Lex Richards. And that includes Jack Davenport. We'll be partners until they drag our corpses out of the building.

_*I'll always be here by your side_

_I never wanted to say goodbye_

_I'll always be here if you change  
Change your mind*_

****__

_*I could say everything's all right_

_And I could pretend and say goodbye  
But that would be lying*_

_          Beggars Banquet_ was just as engrossing as all the other Ian Rankin novels before it. Given that it was Ian Rankin, I was not surprised, rather my usual blend of thrilled and delighted. I had plucked it out of my suitcase straight off and taken it into my new bedroom to read to the sound of Tony Head's CD and hadn't put it down since. But then the phone rang, so I dropped the book and grabbed the handset.

          "I'm guessing you made it home all right," said a familiar voice.

          "Michael!" I exclaimed, unable to hide the surge of positive feelings in my heart.

          He chuckled, then paused. "I've been waiting a long time to talk to you again."

          "It hasn't been that long."

          "It feels like it has," he said. "I wanted to give you time … but something got the better of me."

          And as I listened to his voice, I wondered if he knew what I was feeling. I knew, that moment, we must have felt the exact same thing. Something neither of us had ever felt before.

_*'Cause I can't stop loving you_

_No, I can't stop loving you_

_No, I won't stop loving you_

_Why should I?*_

****

          Everything said and done, I circled the table on my way out the door. No reason to let it go on.

          Jack Bauer extended his hand to me as we intersected, and I took it. There was a smile full of pride and faith and everything I had worked for on his face. "You're getting that promotion I promised you," he said. "Welcome home."

          I just smiled back. "I'm earning it," I told him firmly, then turned and headed out, pushing the door open out into a bullpen already busy with the next day's activity, always moving forward, always pushing for a better outcome than the one before.

          I caught the door with my hand as it came backward at me, then shut it gently and walked on, back to Lex, back to work, on to whatever the world might have me do next. 

          Okay, maybe there was a reason to go on a little longer. And I was willing to bet I would learn of reasons I didn't know yet. That's how life goes.

**End.**

****

**Acknowledgements:**

First I have to thank the people who created these universes and the characters I borrowed from them: Joel Surnow & Robert Cochran, J.J. Abrams, Michael Frost Beckner, Joe Aherne and John Sacret Young. Without them, of course, there's no story. The musicians who made great music I used herein (see below) too. But I really have to thank the actors, who gave these great characters soul that endeared them to me and made me want to use them. Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer), Carlos Bernard (Tony Almeida), Sarah Clarke (Nina Myers), Michael Vartan (Michael Vaughn), Greg Grunberg (Eric Weiss), Richard Speight Jr. (Lex), Anthony Head (Oliver Sampson), Idris Elba (Vaughan Rice), and of course my personal hero, Jack Davenport (Michael Colefield). This work is as much theirs as it is mine. And of course, Tisha – no explanation necessary.

**Music List:**

Part 3: "Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch.

Part 6: "Taking Over Me" by Evanescence.

Part 7: "When It All Falls Down" by The Calling.

Part 8: "Count On Me (Somebody)" by Tonic (implied).

Part 9: "No Man's Woman" by Sinead O'Connor.

Part 10: "Going Under" by Evanescence.

Part 11: "Broken" by 12 Stones.

Part 12: "Honest" by Kendall Payne.

Part 13: "Touched" by VAST.

Part 14: "It's Over, It's Under" by Dollshead; "Moments Like This" by Allison Krauss.

Part 15: "Can't Stop Loving You" by Phil Collins.


End file.
